Nov. 3, 2024

Kamala Harris appears on Saturday Night Live

Show Notes
Transcript

Kamala Harris appeared on Saturday Night Live. So did Tim Kaine, who somehow was funnier than John Mulaney!

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Callaroga Shark media last night from New York. It's Saturday night,

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that's right. Somehow Tim Kane managed to be funnier than

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John Mulaney. Let's hit this well, folks. SNL just gave

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us their election special, and it's like they rated the

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NBC Celebrity Vault. They've got more guest stars than Trump

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has legal problems, and that's saying something. We got Chloe

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Feineman's Caitlin Collins bouncing between rallies like a CNN ping

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pong ball, while James Austin Johnson's Trump complained about the

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smell wherever he was, which, let's be honest, is probably

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just his spray tan oxidizing. Maya Rudolph showed up as

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Kamala Harris, texting every voter in America personally, that's right.

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If you got a hey, besty, democracy needs you are

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in text. That wasn't a scam. Meanwhile, Andy Samberg's Doug

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m Hoff is threatening to sue the show, Doug, which

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is the most Doug m Hoff thing I've ever heard.

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Then Dana Carvey swooped in as Joe Biden, proving some

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impressions age like fine wine, while others age like well presidents,

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but the real showstopper, the actual VP Harris, showed up

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to do a duet with Rudolph's version of herself. It's

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like Spider Man pointing at Spider Man, but with more

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distinctive laughs. They even coined keep calm Ala and carry

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on Ala, which sounds like a bumper sticker waiting to happen.

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The sketch was about as funny as the one star review.

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Some Jabbroni left this show on Apple Podcasts. Tim Kaine

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made a surprise appearance on SNL last night, which is

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fitting because his entire vice presidential campaign in twenty sixteen

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was also a surprise to most Americans. The sketch featured

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John Mulaney as a progressive social media warrior who claimed

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democracy was on the line in twenty sixteen, but couldn't

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remember Hillary's running mate if you put a gun to

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his Twitter account, which, let's be honest, is all of us.

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The best part they brought up that Cain looks exactly

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like Minnesota Governor Tim Walls. It's like they ordered a

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Tim from wish dot com and got another Tim. Seriously,

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these guys are so similar they probably confused their own reflections.

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When given multiple choice options including Tim Clinton, Tim Tim,

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and Tim Scott, Mullaney chose Tim Tim, which sounds less

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like a vice presidential candidate and more like a Pokemon.

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The audience guessed Tim Scott, proving that even random guessing

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is more accurate than political memory. The sketch ended with

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Kin practically begging Mulaney to remember his name, saying I

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just told you ninety seconds ago, which coincidentally is exactly

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how long most Americans remembered he was on the ticket

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in twenty sixteen. You know you're forgettable when even the

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guy who voted for you needs multiple choice options and

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still gets it wrong. Democracy might have been on the

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line in twenty sixteen, but Tim Kaine was definitely on

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the cutting room floor. Donald Trump had quite the performance

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art piece at his Milwaukee rally, and when I say

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performance art, I mean the kind that makes you want

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to bleach your eyeballs. You know how most politicians just

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wave and kiss babies. Trump decided to take his relationship

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with his microphone to a whole new level. After some

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technical difficulties, he threatened to knock the hell out of

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people backstage, because nothing says presidential like threatening the audio crew.

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But wait, it gets better. Trump clearly auditioning for a

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very different kind of stage show, then proceeded to let's

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just say he gave that microphone stand the kind of

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attention usually reserved for third date, you know, third base,

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as in, I wish we had a third candidate to

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vote for. Then, faster than you can say Linda Lovelace,

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like any totally stable genius, he started complaining about blowing

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out both his arms and his throat. I guess nobody

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told him microphones are supposed to do the amplifying for you.

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When they finally gave him a wireless mike, he complained

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it was too heavy. This from the guy who claims

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he could beat anyone in a push up contest. I

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guess those McDonald's Big Max aren't the protein shake replacement

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he thought they were. You know, when most politicians have

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technical difficulties, they just clear their throat and say testing, testing,

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And somewhere a microphone stand is filing for a restraining order. Meanwhile,

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we've got Minnesota Governor Tim Walls calling Elon Musk that

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gay guy. Walls made this comment while stumping in Michigan, saying,

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Michigan knows that word. Yeah, because nothing says vote for

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me like combining geography lessons with questionable comments about sexuality.

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Elon Musk, the guy who's basically trying to colonize Mars

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and has enough kids to populate it, responded with I

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have no problem being called gay to be honest, which

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might be the most reasonable thing Musk has tweeted since well. Ever. Meanwhile,

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Kamala Harris is in Milwaukee with Cardi B and Glrilla,

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proving that at least someone in this election cycle knows

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how to throw a party without accidentally offending half the Internet,

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you know, Between walls using gay like it's still nineteen

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eighty five and Trump's recent mic performance, I'm starting to

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think should just let Cardi B run the country. At

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least she knows how to use a microphone properly. Portions

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of today's show were made with the help of AI

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and SNL. Don't forget to Vote.