Nov. 5, 2024

Joe Rogan endorses Trump, JD Vance calls Harris trash

Show Notes
Transcript

Joe Rogan had Elon Musk on, and Joe endorsed Trump.

JD Vance called Harris "trash"

Get out there and vote, and remember, we never made fun of Trump, not even once.

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Calarugus shark media from America, the greatest country in the world.

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So go vote. This is ballot, that's right, a country

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where we can openly mock our leaders except me. I

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never made fun of Trump, not even once, so there's

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no reason to throw me in the gulag tomorrow. Let's

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hit this Secretary of State Rogan, and I won't be

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in jail like Jimmy Kimmel and John Oliver. After years

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of being a Bernie bro Rogan suddenly had a change

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of heart faster than one of his DMT trips. I

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guess when Elon Musk speaks, Rogan's third eye opens wide.

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That's right, the guy who once called Trump an existential

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threat to democracy is now his biggest fan. I haven't

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seen someone flip flop this hard since my uncle at

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the beach wearing socks with sandals, or since jd Vance

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basically did the same thing. The endorsement could sway millions

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of Rogan's young male listeners, because nothing says reliable political

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advice like getting your voting cues from a guy who

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used to make people eat bugs on TV. Trump called

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Rogan's endorsement great and so nice. You know times are

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weird When Trump uses fewer exclamation points than your aunt.

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On Facebook, the endorsements are rolling in faster than a

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pirate's outfielder chasing a fly ball. Roberto Clemente Junior just

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endorsed Trump in Pittsburgh, proving that even baseball royalty can

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catch election fever. I guess when your dad was known

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for goodwill and unity, you naturally support the most divisive

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candidate in modern history. Makes perfect sense. And speaking of curveballs,

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Patrick Mahomes's mom showed up to a football game wearing

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a Maga hat because nothing says I support my son's

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career like potentially alienating half his fan base. That's what

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I call a real mom move, like posting your kid's

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awkward middle school photos, but with political consequences. But wait,

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there's more. Megan Kelly called Trump a protector of women.

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I haven't heard it take that hot since I accidentally

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touched my coffee maker's heating plate. What's next, guy Fiery

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endorsing a vegan restaurant. Meanwhile, Harris has Beyonce, Taylor Swift,

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and Oprah in her corner. It's like a battle between

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podcast bros and pop Queen's the elections basically turned into

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a fight between Spotify and Apple Music, but with nuclear

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codes at stake between Rogan, Clemente Junior and Mama Mahomes.

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Trump's collecting endorsements like their Pokemon cards, though I have

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to say getting Joe Rogan's endorsement after a chat with

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Elon Musk is like getting dating advice from your cat

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after it watched a squirrel. Technically an opinion, but maybe

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not one to base your future on. Kamala Harris just

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had an interview so awkward it makes your high school

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yearbook photo look like a Vogue cover shoot. She sat

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down with Muslim influencer Kareem Rama and decided to checks

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notes wax poetic about bacon. That's like going to a

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Peda meeting and pitching your new fur coat business. The

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VP was supposed to give a hot take about people

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to taking their shoes off on airplanes, you know, the

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hard hitting political issues keeping Americans up at night. Instead,

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she went rogue and declared that bacon is a spice.

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I haven't heard it take that confusing Since Tim Walls

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went viral talking about gutter maintenance, what's next declaring ketchup

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a smoothie When Rama tried to steer her back on track,

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Harris doubled down by praising anchovies on pizza because nothing

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says I'm in touch with the youth like controversial pizza toppings.

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It's like she's playing how to lose an interview in

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ten minutes. The campaign offered to reshoot, but Rama was

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probably thinking, fool me once. Shame on you fool me twice,

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and I might hear about how mayonnaise is actually a beverage.

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And let's not forget. This whole mess started because Harris

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wouldn't answer questions about gaza. She'd rather talk about bacon

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to a Muslim interviewer than address foreign policy. That's like

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avoiding questions about climate change by discussing your collection of

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plastic straws. Jd. Vance is out here playing political hot

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potato with his own words faster than someone trying to

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explain their old live journal posts in Atlanta. He went

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from we love every citizen to calling Harris trash in

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just thirty five seconds. That's like telling your date I'm

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really mature right before starting a food fight at Applebee's.

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Vance is out here doing more flips than an Olympic gymnast.

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First he's saying, don't let politics ruin friendships, then calling

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Harris crazy and trash. That's like saying I'm a vegetarian

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while eating a bacon cheeseburger, and yes, I know Harris

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would probably call that bacon a spice. Vance suggested a

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new slogan for Harris, saying, remember, her whole argument of

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her campaign is that she doesn't even know who Joe

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Biden is, even though she's the sitting vice president, and

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the view host asked her, what would you have done

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differently over the last four years? Would you have done

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anything differently than Joe Biden and Kamala Harris says, nothing

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comes to mind. The Harris Walt slogan could be nothing

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comes to mind. And as for Walls at his eleventh

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Michigan campaign, stop because apparently the first ten times weren't

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enough to explain his position on gutter maintenance. He's pushing

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so hard for Michigan votes he's practically auditioning for a

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Detroit Lions coaching job. Meanwhile, Gretchen Whitmer told the crowd

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the whole world is counting on us tomorrow. No pressure Michigan,

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just the fate of democracy hanging on whether you can

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make it to your polling place between snow flurries and

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Coney Island runs. The Republicans tried to counter bon Jovi

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by bragging about having autoworkers. That's like saying, oh, yeah,

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you got a Rock and Roll Hall of Famer. Well,

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we've got Dave from accounting, though I have to admit

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Dave does know his way around a spreadsheet, and his

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songs have aged better. Portions of today's program were made

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with the help of AI. Be sure to get out

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there and vote. I'll be back in the morning to

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tell you how smooth everything went today and how we

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have a clear, decisive winner for the presidency, and how

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nobody is overreacting to the results.