Feb. 13, 2025

JD Vance's NIGHTMARE Week: Trump's Snub + Pope's Smackdown + Kennedy Center CHAOS!

Show Notes
Transcript

VP Vance's terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad week! First, Trump publicly friendzones him on Fox News, then the POPE HIMSELF writes a letter saying he's got Catholic teaching all wrong (awkward!), all while Trump stages a hostile takeover of the Kennedy Center! Plus: Why Ben Folds said "bye bye bye" to the National Symphony Orchestra, and how "Les Misérables" might need a name change that hits a little too close to home!

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Callaroga Shark media from Vatican City where the Pope rules. JD.

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Vance drools, this is ballot. Really, we have a team

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of writers and the nineteen of you came up with

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a drools joke. Zach, let's hit this. You know who's

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having a bad week. JD. Vance. So there's Vance sitting

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at home, probably practicing his presidential wave in the mirror.

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When Trump goes on Fox News and gets asked if

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he sees his vice president as his successor, Trump's response, no,

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Then he adds, but he's very capable, which is the

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political equivalent of your mom saying your middle school band

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concert was interesting. Now, this is a guy who completely

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reinvented himself. For Trump went from writing hillbilly elogy to

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hillbilly apology tour. He transformed faster than a transformer with

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an energy drink addiction. And his reward for this complete

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character makeover getting dismissed on national television like a contestant

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on The Prentice. The best part when Brett Baher tried

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to give Trump another chance to throw Vance a bone

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about twenty twenty eight, Trump just started rambling about how

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great his own presidency is. It's like being asked about

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your assistants performance review and responding by showing everyone your

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high school trophy collection. Meanwhile, Vance is spending his vice

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presidency posting on x about dog breeding, which is exactly

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what you'd expect from someone whose job description seems to

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be professional chair warmer. On the bright side, at least

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Trump called him capable, which, in Trump speak, is practically

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a love letter. If getting dissed by Trump isn't bad enough,

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imagine getting dissed by the Pope. So Vance went on

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Fox News to explain why deporting immigrants is totally fine

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according to Catholic teaching. He pulled out this concept called

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ordo amoris, which sounds like a spell from Harry Potter

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but is actually about the order of love. According to

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Vance's interpretation, it means you've got to love your family first,

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then your neighbors in America, and if you've got any

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love left over, maybe sprinkle some on the rest of

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the world. But Pope Francis read this and basically said,

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not in my church. He wrote a letter to US

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bishops that might as well have started with Dear JD.

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What in the holy heck? The Pope explained that Christian

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love isn't like one of those loyalty punch cards where

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you have to fill up all the local spots before

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you can care about immigrants. Then he dropped the theological

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mic by bringing up the Good Samaritan. You know that

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famous story about helping strangers that apparently Vance skimmed over

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during his twenty nineteen conversion speed run. The Pope emphasized

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that Christian love is for everyone without exception, and yes,

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he basically used all caps to make his point. Now,

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getting corrected by the Pope is like having the principle

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call your parents. It's not just bad, it's historically bad.

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It's like converting to Catholicism and immediately having the Pope

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write a letter that says, thanks for joining, but you're

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doing it wrong. The Internet, of course, is having a

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field day. One person pointed out that getting Catholic theology

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so wrong that the Pope has to personally intervene is

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a special kind of achievement. It's like failing a test

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so spectacularly that they have to create a new grade

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just for you. So remember, kids, if you're going to

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use religious teachings to justify your politics, maybe make sure

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the head of that religion isn't going to write a

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strongly worded letter explaining why you're completely wrong. Trump just

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declared himself the chairman of the Kennedy Center, you know

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that place where they hand out those fancy medals to

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people who mastered the art of jazz. Hands. Now, I

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don't want to say Trump's taking over cultural institutions faster

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than a Broadway understudy who just found out the lead

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got food poisoning. But here we are. He's already installing

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his people like he's decorating a new Trump Hotel, except

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instead of gold toilets, it's board members. And get ready

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for this lineup change. He's bringing in Richard Grinnell as

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interim executive director, which is perfect because when I think

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performing arts, I naturally think former intelligence official. That's just showbiz, baby,

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Trump announced on Truth Social and I'm quoting here no

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more drag shows or other anti American propaganda, because apparently

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kinky boots was the real threat to democracy all along. Meanwhile,

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Ben Folds, yes that Ben Folds just quit his role

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as artistic advisor to the National Symphony Orchestra. He posted

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on Instagram saying not for me, which is probably the

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most polite way I've ever heard someone say I'm out

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of here faster than a soprano hitting their high notes.

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The upcoming season includes Les Miserabli, which, let's be honest,

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might need a new title given the circumstances. Since we're

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renaming things, let's just call it the Miserables. They're also

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doing Legally Blonde, though I hear they're changing Ellwood's iconic

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line to what like, running a cultural institution is hard

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and maybe we can retitle that one legally married, but

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she's blonde. And you know what really says make the

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Kennedy Center great again? Having your chief of staff, Deputy

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chief of staff, and second Lady Usha Vance on the board.

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I wonder what the Pope things of her. Portions of

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today's program were made with the help of the Pope

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AI and some thinly veiled jokes about someone who cheats

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on his wife.