Sept. 9, 2024

Is the Harris campaign cooling off already?

Show Notes
Transcript

With the DNC in the rearview mirror - the Harris campaign seems stalled, with the polls regressing back toward Trump.

Meanwhile the Walz family is fighting with the Walz's family.

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Calarogu Shark Media.

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From the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia, home of tomorrow's debate,

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and my friend Shane this is ballot. Wait does Shane

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live in the National Constitution Center or is he just

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from Philly? Anyway, nobody cares.

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Let's hit this.

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Let's start with Kamala Harris before you guys accuse me

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of doing nothing but goofing on Trump, and believe me,

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we're going to goof on Trump.

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It looks like Kamala.

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Harris's campaign has hit a few speed bumps faster than

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you can say, would you like fries?

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With that? First up, we've got the polls.

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Turns out Harris's lead over Trump is shrinking faster than

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my patient's in a DMV line. Nate Silver's model now

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has Trump in the lead, which is about as comforting

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as finding out your parachute was packed by a guy

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named Butterfingers. Then we've got the gold Star families giving

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Harris a verbal beatdown that makes a UFC fight look

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like a tea party. And let's not forget the Israeli

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hostage situation. Harris warned Israel not to enter Reifa, and

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then surprise, that's exactly where they found the hostages. It's

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like telling someone not to look in the cookie jar

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for the missing cookies. Oh and there's the McDonald's controversy.

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Trump's claiming Harris never worked there, apparently thinking her fast

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food experience is as fake as a mcribbs connection to

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actual ribs. To top it all off, Harris got caught

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doing the old I'm on an important call move to

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dodge reporters, classic politician move right up there with I

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didn't Inhale and I did not have relations with that woman.

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So there you have it.

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Harris's campaign is having a week rougher than a two

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dollars stake, but hey, in politics, two months is an eternity.

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Who knows by next week we might be talking about

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Trump's secret love for Kale smoothies or Harris's hidden talent

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for yodling. Seth Myers joked about last week's Foxtown hall

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with Trump, during which Trump criticized ABC News anchor George

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Stephanopoulos and said that his interview with President Biden was

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the softest interview I've ever seen. You're gonna say that

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while you're being interviewed by Sean Hannity, I asked tougher

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questions when John Oliver is here. After Trump told Hannity

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he couldn't imagine anyone in New Hampshire voting for Joe Biden. Yeah,

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I can't imagine anyone in New Hampshire voting for Biden.

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You know why, because he's not on the ballot anymore. Well, folks,

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it looks like Donald Trump's legal troubles have gone from

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a tsunami to more of a gentle spray from a

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leaky garden hose. Who knew that delayed, deny and deflect

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could be such an effective legal strategy. I guess in TrumpLand,

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justice delayed really is justice denied or at least postponed

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until after happy hour. Remember when Trump was facing ninety

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one felony charges. That's more charges than a teenager's phone

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after an all night TikTok binge.

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We all thought it was.

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Game over for the Donald, But apparently he's got more

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lives than a cat in a bubble wrap factory.

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Let's break it down, shall we.

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First, we had the classified documents case, you know, the

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one where Trump treated top secret papers like party favors

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at mar a Lago. But whoops, a Trump appointed judge

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just tossed that one out faster than a mar A

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Lago guest tosses back over priced cocktails. I guess when

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Trump said he'd drain the swamp, he meant he'd fill

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it with judges who'd have his back. Then there's the

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Georgia case, which gave us that iconic mugshot. Trump managed

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to turn his Fulton County glamour shots into a fundraising bonanza.

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Who knew looking like a disgruntled DMV customer could be

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so profitable. And let's not forget the election interference case

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that one's moving slower than a sloth on tranquilizers. At

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this rate, we'll have flying cars before we see a verdict.

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In the end, Trump's strategy of when the going gets tough,

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the tough get litigious seems to be paying off. Trump

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just gave us a masterclass in how to turn a

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press conference into a one man Broadway show. Move over, Hamilton,

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We've got Trump and American Fever dream playing to a

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captive audience. Trump treated us to a Greatest Hits compilation.

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Of his grievances.

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We had impeachments, hoax number one, hoax number two coming

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soon to a theater near you, the justice system more

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weaponized than a Michael Bay movie, and even a throwback

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to the Clinton era. I guess when you're running out

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of current material, you got to dig deep into the archives.

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And just when you thought he might actually address, oh,

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I don't know the economy or foreign policy, Trump hit

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us with a nostalgia trip about his days as a

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real estate mogul and reality TV star. Of course, no

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Trump performance would be complete without blaming the Biden Harris

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administration for his legal troubles. It's like watching a kid

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blame the dog for eating his homework, except the dog

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is the entire Justice Department. And let's not forget the

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grand finale. Trump's pivot to actual campaign issues a mere

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forty minutes into his monologue. Job numbers check, undocumented immigr check,

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lowering debate expectations triple check. Meanwhile, his advisors are probably

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backstage frantically waving Q cards that read, stick to the

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script and please, for the love of God, talk about inflation.

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All right, folks, strap in for a family feud that

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makes the hat Fields and McCoy's look like a preschool

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playground spat. We've got a photo of some Walls family members. Yes,

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that's Governor Tim Wall's extended clan sporting Nebraska walls for

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Trump's shirts. And let me tell you that apostrophe is

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doing more heavy lifting than a CrossFit enthusiast on steroids. Now,

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these Maga Walls aren't exactly Tim's immediate family. They're second cousins, which,

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in political terms, is about as close as Mars is

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to winning the Stanley Cup.

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But don't worry.

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Tim's mom, Darlene, at the ripe old age of eighty eight,

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is here to spill the tea. She's basically saying, yeah,

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that side of the family, the weird cousins we only

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see at funerals. Meanwhile, Tim's brother Jeff down in Florida,

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is playing both sides like a political contortionist. He's all,

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I love Trump, but I'm not trying to influence anyone, sure, Jeff,

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And I'm not trying to influence anyone. When I wear

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my iHeart Bacon shirt to a vegan pot luck, the

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Trump camp is having a field day with this photo.

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They're sharing it faster than a cat video at a

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retirement home. Even Donald Trump Junior got in on the action,

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asking if the left wing media will cover it. Well, Junior,

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we're covering it now and it's about as newsworthy as

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your dad's latest spray tan mishap.

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But let's talk about that apostrophe for a second.

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Walls' is really it's like they're trying to win a

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grammar rodeo while riding backwards on a donkey. Keith Oberman, ever,

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the wordsmith, couldn't resist taking a jab. I mean, when

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your grammatical errors are so bad they're uniting the left

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and the right, you know you've really accomplished something. So

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there you have it, folks, a family divided, an apostrophe misplaced,

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and a political circus that would make Barnum and Bailey proud.

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Just another day in American politics, where blood may be

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thicker than water, but party lines are thicker than both.

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Stay tuned for the next episode of As the Walls Turns.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of AI,

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the plural of which is ais with an apostrophe s