Dec. 16, 2024

Healthcare CEO's Alleged Killer Becomes TikTok's Hottest Felon

Show Notes
Transcript

From Boston nightclubs celebrating a murder suspect with Miley Cyrus to GiveSendGo fundraising controversies and banned merch, this episode unpacks the bizarre Luigi Mangione phenomenon.

Join us for a sardonic look at a week where true crime met TikTok fame and presidential candidates met mounting legal fees. A darkly humorous take on what happens when criminal justice collides with social media stardom and political drama in modern America.

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Calaroga Shark media.

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From Washington, DC, where they probably know what the drones are.

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But you don't need to know this ballot.

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That's right, and let's be honest, a lot of you

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need to study constellations, or at least familiarize yourself with

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what a plane looks like at night. Wait until you

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find out about helicopters.

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Let's hit this.

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Well, looks like Boston's nightlife just got a dark twist.

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At a dance party called jingle Bop, which sounds like

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what elves do after drinking too much eggnog, partygoers were

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cheering for accused murderer Luigi Mangione's photos like he was

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the next Bachelor contestant. You know things are weird when

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a DJ drops Miley Cyrus while showing mugshots.

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I mean, he could be the one.

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Really, that's like playing love story at a true crime convention.

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Luigi is currently living it up at the State Correctional

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Institution Huntingdon, which, let's be honest, probably has fewer amenities

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than that McDonald's he was caught in. But hey, he's

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become such an Internet sensation that his lawyer is probably

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getting more DMS than a reality show contestant. Wow, we've

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officially entered the era where alleged murderers have merch I

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guess denied Defend depos is the new Live Laugh Love.

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Instead of being on a wooden sign in your kitchen,

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it's on shell casings.

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That's quite the pinterest fail.

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People are raising money for this guy faster than a

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TikTok dance challenge, over one hundred thousand dollars on give

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send Goo, which apparently has a bring your own moral

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compass policy. Meanwhile, GoFundMe was like, yeah, that's gonna be

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a no from us dog the really wild part. Amazon

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and Etsy had to pull free Luigi merchandise because nothing

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says I support social justice like putting an alleged murderer's

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face on a tote bag. What's next? True crime trading cards? Listen,

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I get being angry healthcare costs. We've all looked at

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a medical bill and thought this band aid cost how much?

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But maybe and I'm just spitballing here, we could try

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voting or writing strongly worded letters. First, well, it looks

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like Trump's planning his inauguration and he's sending out invites

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like their TikTok friend requests. He's personally inviting world leaders,

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even ones who aren't exactly BFFs with America, because nothing

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says make America great again like filling DC with people

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who make the State Department nervous. He's invited China's president

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She Jinping, which is like inviting your biggest competitor to

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your promotion party. She's probably sending some officials instead, probably

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to make sure they're not seated at the kids table.

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Trump's also reaching out to El Salvador's Bouqueta, Italy's Maloney,

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and Argentina's Melee, basically the international version of the cool

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Kids Table if the cool kids were really into strongman

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politics and making the UN sweat and get this. Trump's

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making these invites super casual, sometimes just dropping them into

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phone conversations. Hey, great weather, we're having want to come

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to my inauguration? Real smooth Donald. He's even bragging about

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inviting leaders that people told him might be a little risky,

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because apparently four years away from the White House has

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only made him more interested in spicing up diplomatic relations.

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It's like he's planning less of an inauguration and more

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of a global reality show reunion.

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The Secret Service must be thrilled about all this.

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They've got to protect a guy who's already dodged two

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assassination attempts, plus whoever shows up from Trump's impromptu global

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guest list. It's like planning security for the world's most

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dangerous dinner party. So Democrats are suddenly really worried about

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one person having the power to start nuclear war.

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Can't imagine why.

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It's not like Trump ever got into a my button

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is bigger than yours contest with North Korea.

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Oh wait.

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Senators Marky and lou wrote to Biden basically saying, Hey,

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remember that whole one person can end the world thing.

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Maybe we should put that up for a group vote.

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They want Congress to have to approve any nuclear first strikes,

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which seems reasonable considering we usually need congressional approval just

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to rename a post office. Right now, the president has

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sole authority to launch nuclear weapons, which made sense in

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nineteen forty five but feels a little dicey when the

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incoming president once suggested nuking a hurricane. I mean, the

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man threatened North Korea over Twitter or x or whatever

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Elon's calling it this week, and speaking of nuclear buttons,

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Trump's already bragging about how his is bigger and more

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powerful than Kim Jong UN's. At least they're not measuring

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missile sizes yet. While Democrats are worried about Trump with nukes,

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Republicans are claiming Biden's the one pushing us toward World

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War III. It's like both sides are playing the world's

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worst game of no, you're going to start the nuclear apocalypse.

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At least Congress would finally have to work together on something.

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Nothing brings people across the aisle like having to jointly

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decide whether to end civilization as we know it. Missouri

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just decided that if you can't beat him, change the law.

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A state rep there introduced what he's calling the Donald J.

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Trump Election Qualification Act. Republican Michael Davis apparently looked at

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Trump's thirty four felony counts and thought, you know what,

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that sounds like prime political resume material. The bill would

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let anyone with a felony run for state office, because

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apparently Missouri was feeling left out watching the rest of

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America get to have all the fun. It's kind of

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like when your parents tell you you can't do something

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because your older sibling did it and got in trouble,

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but then your older sibling becomes president elect anyway, so

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what's even the point of rules anymore. Davis pointed out

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that Trump couldn't run for state representative in Missouri right now,

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which feels like complaining that your Lamborghini can't compete in

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a go kart race. Portions of today's program were made

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with the help of AI and some billionaires.