March 3, 2025

GOVERNMENT CHAOS: Musk's Email Demands Cost Taxpayers MILLIONS While Celebrities Panic Over Epstein List!

Trump's America is WILD! Elon Musk's weekly "prove your worth" emails to federal employees could waste SEVEN HUNDRED MILLION dollars annually while celebrities scramble after being named in Jeffrey Epstein's newly released contact book! Plus, Trump...

Show Notes
Transcript

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Callaroga Shark Media from Washington, DC, where I'll tell Elon

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what I accomplished last week. I had to work Saturday

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because of Trump losing as cool with Zelenski. This is

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ballot Hi, I'm Patrick Gutfield. Yeah, Elon. As for me,

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I had too many drinks Saturday night and ate too

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many donuts on Sunday. Oh and I watched the Oscars.

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Let's talk about Alec Baldwin, Naomi Campbell, Mini Driver, and

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Mick Jagger. But I'm not talking about last night's Oscars.

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The Department of Justice just released over two hundred documents

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related to Jeffrey Epstein's investigation, including his contact book with

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an extensive list of celebrity names. It's like the world's

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most disturbing yearbook superlatives most likely to be in a billionaire,

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sex Offenders Rolodex. Among the stars named in this creepy

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contact book are Alec Baldwin, Naomi Campbell, Mini Driver, and

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Mick Jagger. Now, before everyone loses their minds, the DOJ

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clarified that being in this book doesn't mean you did

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anything wrong. It just means Epstein had your phone number, which,

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let's be honest, is still disturbing enough. It's like finding

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out your name is in the contact list of that

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one friend nobody likes. How did he get my number?

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We met one time at a charity event in two

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thousand and six. The DJ also noted that most of

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these names had already been reported over the years, so

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this isn't exactly breaking news. It's more like broken news

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were officially confirming. Remember when Cameron Diaz was mentioned in

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previous documents, her team immediately released a statement saying Cameron

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never met Jeffrey Epstein, nor was she ever in the

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same place as him, which is exactly what I would

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say too. I'd hire skywriters to spell it out. Never

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met the guy. Attorney General Pam Bondi called this release

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part of Trump's commitment to transparency. While new FBI Director

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Cash Ptel promised no no cover ups, no missing documents,

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he said, if there are gaps, we will find them. Meanwhile,

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everyone mentioned in the book is desperately hoping there are gaps,

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specifically where their names used to be. Epstein died in

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prison back in twenty nineteen while awaiting trial on sex

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trafficking charges in what officials called an apparent suicide, but

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what's not apparent is why it took five years to

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release these documents. So the moral of the story is

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be very careful who has your contact information, and maybe

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change your number every few years just to be safe.

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You never know when your name might end up in

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a document dump that makes you have to explain to

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your grandmother why you're trending on Twitter. President Trump announced

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he's making English the official language of America. That's right.

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Trump signed an executive order saying government agencies can now

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choose whether they want to offer documents in languages other

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than English. So basically, if you don't speak English, good

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luck figuring out your tax forms. Nothing says welcome to

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an America like having no idea what you're signing. The

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White House claims this move promotes unity, establishes efficiency in

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government operations, and creates a pathway for civic engagement. Yes,

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nothing unites people quite like not being able to understand

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each other and government efficiency. Have you been to the

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DMV lately? They could be speaking Klingon for all the

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efficiency happening there. Advocacy groups are not happy. Vanessa card

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and Us from America's Voice called it an offensive gesture

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that sticks a thumb in the eye of millions of

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US citizens who speak other languages. I'm no diplomat, but

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thumbie sticking doesn't sound like the best foreign policy approach. Currently,

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more than three hundred and fifty languages are spoken in

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the United States. The most common after English are Spanish, Chinese, Tagalag, Vietnamese,

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and Arabic. We also have Native American languages like Navajo,

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you pick, and Cherokee. But Trump's basically saying sorry, We're

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going English only, you know, like our money that says

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e pluribus unum. The irony is thick enough to spread

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on toast. Annabel Mendoza from United We Dreams says this

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will make it harder for people to become citizens, which, hey, Annabel,

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is probably the idea. Currently, folks of certain age and

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residency requirements can qualify for a waiver to do their

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citizenship test in their native language. Now they might have

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to take a test in a language they don't speak fluently,

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which seems fair in the same way that making basketball

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players where blindfolds is fair. Meanwhile, the Congressional Hispanic Caucus

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announced Adriano ESPAYAP will deliver the official Spanish language response

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to Trump's upcoming joint address to Congress. I'm guessing Trump's

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response to the response will be sorry, I don't understand

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English only please. More than thirty states already have English

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as their official language. Hawaii is the only state with

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two official languages, English and Hawaiian. Over one hundred and

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seventy countries worldwide have an official language. Canada has two

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English and French to ensure equality of status and protect

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linguistic minorities, although it's unclear what will happen to French

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once Canada becomes the fifty first state. Mexico doesn't have

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an official language at all, so if you're planning to

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visit America soon, you might want to brush up on

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your English, or at least learn these essential phrases. Where

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is the bathroom? How much does this cost? And can

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someone please translate this government form. Embark on an extraordinary

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journey into the heart of one of the world's most

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ancient and mysterious institutions with White Smoke The Path to

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a New Pope. This captivating podcast series takes listeners behind

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from the moment the silver hammer strikes the Pope's forehead

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are a devout Catholic, a student of history, or simply

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White Smoke wherever you get your shows. So Elon Musk

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is still demanding every federal employee justify their existence weekly.

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Because nothing says efficient government like making two million people

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write bullet points about their jobs instead of, you know,

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doing their actual jobs. Musk sent out round two of

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his what did you accomplish this week? Emails, calling it

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check a pulse check. That's what doctors do to make

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sure you're alive. I guess Musk is checking if the

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federal government still has a heartbeat after he's done with it.

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And get this, NASA's acting administrator, Janet Petro told her

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staff to basically ignore Musk's emails. She wrote, please give

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yourself a moment, and when you're back on duty, check

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with your supervisor. That's NASA speak for this is complete nonsense,

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but I need to sound professional about it. The State

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Department also sent a note saying do nothing with the email,

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which coincidentally is exactly what I do with emails from

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my mother in law about her cat's digestive issues. One

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EPA employee calculated that if two million federal employees spend

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fifteen minutes answering these emails at an average wage of

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thirty five dollars per hour, it would cost taxpayers seventeen million,

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five hundred thousand dollars each week. That's seven hundred million

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dollars a year spent on emails to Elon Musk. I

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haven't seen that kind of waste since Nicholas came. Just

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shopping spree at the dinosaur skull store. Meanwhile, at the

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Defense Department, four star generals are begging for flexibility in

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how they trim their staffs. You know things are bad

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when people whose entire career is based on following orders

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are saying, can we discuss this? The Department of Education

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offered employees twenty five thousand dollars to quit, with a

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deadline of Monday to decide. It's like a game show.

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You have forty eight hours, take the money or risk

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getting fired anyway, what will you choose? This whole situation

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is like when you get a new manager at work

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who decides the problem is that people aren't filling out

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enough forms. The business is failing because you haven't told

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me what you're doing every fifteen minutes. Portions of today's

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show were made with the help of AI and four

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Gin and Tonics.