Oct. 26, 2024

Donald Trump on The Joe Rogan Experience

Show Notes
Transcript

Donald Trump was on teh Joe Rogan Experience. A recap of the highlights.

Meanwhile Beyoncé and Willie Nelson were at a Harris rally.

We dropped another episode earlier today in case you missed that one.

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Calarogu Shark Media from Austin, where you can hear three

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hours of presidential policy mixed with Elk meat recipes. This

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is ballid, that's right? And man, how about that completely

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overshadowed Beyonce concert? What Beyonce concert? You ask? Yep? Kamala

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got out played last night. Somebody's campaign is running out

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the clock about as well as the Jets do. Let's

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hit this well, folks. Donald Trump just spent three hours

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with Joe Rogan, which is roughly the same amount of

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time it takes to explain to Trump how umbrellas work.

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The two alpha males of Alternative Facts got together to

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discuss Trump's presidency, and boy did they serve up a

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feast of delusion with a side of conspiracy theories. Trump

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said his biggest mistake as president was hiring bad people

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or disloyal people. You know, the kind of people who

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eventually testify under oath about what actually happened. Apparently, in

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Trump's world, means being willing to commit perjury, and bad

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means having a functioning moral compass. When Rogan asked about

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those neo cons Trump hired, Trump immediately threw John Kelly

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and John Bolton under the bus, which at this point

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is less of a bus and more of a Trump

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branded monster truck with loyalty test painted on the side.

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Trump went on about his ex National Security advisor John Bolton,

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calling him a nut job. You know you're really something

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when Trump thinks you're the crazy one. That's like Pete

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Davidson calling someone unstable. The conversation inevitably turned to the

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twenty twenty election, with Trump claiming it was the most

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crooked election. When Rogan asked for proof, Trump did what

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he does best, changed the subject faster than he changes lawyers.

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He pivoted to Hunter Biden's laptop so quick you'd think

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it was a Trump University diploma. But the real comedy

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gold came when Rogan declared that Republicans are now punk

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rock and Conservatives are rebels. Yeah. Nothing says fighting the

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system quite like defending corporate tax cuts while wearing a

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Make America Great Again hat made in China. The highlight

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reel is exactly what you'd expect when you put these

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two in a room together. First up, Trump actually asked

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Rogan why he gets bad publicity. That's like Colonel Sanders

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asking why people associate him with chicken. Rogan, being the

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philosopher king of Bros Everywhere, told Trump it's because he

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says wild stuff. Trump bragged about telling Kim Jong un

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to go to the beach because nothing says diplomatic genius

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like telling a dictator to work on his tan. Hey,

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maybe build some condos instead of nukes, Trump suggested, because

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that worked out so great with Trump Tower Moscow, right,

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Trump announced he's partnering with RFK Junior for Make America

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Healthy again. That's right. The guy who lives on McDonald's

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is now our health guru. The man loves oil so much,

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I'm surprised he doesn't drink it with his diet coke.

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Trump did say he had to be careful with RFK

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Junior because he doesn't like oil. Trump added, I love oil,

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which explains why his face always looks like it's ready

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to be deep fried. Trump's Joe Rogan marathon continued with

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him complaining about women in journalism, specifically MSNBC's Joy Reid,

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saying some of these women they're so stupid. Then, like

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your uncle trying to prove he's not racist because he

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has a black friend, he quickly added, whoop. He loved me. Yeah,

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and I'm sure the feeling is mutual. Meanwhile, in what

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Trump called the biggest scandal in broadcasting history, which is

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saying something from a guy who hosted The Apprentice, he's

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outraged about CBS editing Kamala Harris. That's right. Apparently editing

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is now election interference. Someone better tell TikTok filters they're

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committing voter fraud. Speaking of Harris, she appeared with Beyonce

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and Willie Nelson in Houston, a combination that sounds like

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the setup to a joke that writes itself. Beyonce announced

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she wasn't there as a celebrity, but as a mother,

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which is exactly what celebrities say right before they celebrity

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all over the place. But we'll cover that after the break.

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Trump showed up two hours late to his Michigan rally,

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marking the first time in history a politician was slower

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than government bureaucracy. I guess Trump's standard time is like

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Hawaiian time, but with more legal depositions. In the Rogan interview,

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Trump also described lying on the floor covered in blood

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after the assassination attempt, comparing notes with Rogan about how

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much ears bleed. Just two guys chatting about bleeding ears,

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you know, normal presidential stuff. It's like a UFC fight

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night met a White House press briefing, the Washington Post

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announced they won't endorse either candidate, prompting Woodward and Bernstein

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to basically say, are you kidding me? When the guys

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who broke Watergate think you're dropping the ball, it might

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be time to pick up the ball. It's like having

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Gordon Ramsay tell you your toast is undercooked. The whole

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thing wrapped up with them discussing big pharma, pesticides and

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military recruitment. You know, the kind of light conversation you'd

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have over three hours of DMT and ELK meat. Kamala Harris, Beyonce,

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and Willie Nelson walk into a bar in Houston. Beyonce

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orders lemonade, Willie orders the house Special, which he may

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have grown himself, and Kamala asks what drink has the

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highest approval rating with independent voters? Well, folks. While Trump

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was busy getting philosophical with Joe Rogan about Mars having life,

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Kamala Harris decided to book a chat with Shannon Sharp

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on Club Shay Shay. It's like choosing between getting interviewed

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by your friend who just discovered conspiracy theories or your

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uncle who accidentally streams his bedroom activities on Instagram Live.

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That's right, Sharp, who recently had to explain why his

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Instagram Live suddenly turned into only fans will be interviewing

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the Vice President. I guess when your campaign needs a

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hail Mary, you go to a Hall of Fame tight end. Now,

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some people might question why Harris is picking Shay Shay

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over Rogan. I mean, Rogan has seventeen point five million

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YouTube subscribers while Sharpe has three point six million. But

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Club Shay Shay is where celebrities go to air their

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dirty laundry. Just ask Kat Williams, who spent three hours

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roasting every comedian who ever told a joke. Though I

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doubt Harris will show up and start spilling tea about

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Biden's ice cream preferences. The show is famous for its

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juicy tell aws. Monique came on to discuss her beef

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with Oprah, Tyler, Perry and basically everyone else in Hollywood.

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Megan Good showed up to talk about Jonathan Major's It's

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like a confessional booth meets a WWE promo but with

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better ratings. Sharpe himself says he's not a journalist but

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an entertainer, telling critics, if you want hard hitting questions,

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go to sixty minutes, which is fair. Sixty minutes hasn't

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accidentally live streamed their bedroom activities yet that we know of.

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But here's the thing, Harris is trying to reach Black

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voters where they are at. According to her media, She's

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already done the Breakfast Club and the Shade Room and

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now Club Shay Shay. Next week she'll probably show up

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on somebody's family BBQ Instagram Live, though hopefully not Sharp's.

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We know how those can go. While Trump was discussing

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Mar's life with Rogan, Harris brought out the Queen Bee

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herself Beyonce, proving that when it comes to star power,

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you either go DMT or Destiny's Child, no in between.

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The Houston rally was basically Coachella Meet's c span, with

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Beyonce telling the crowd she wasn't there as a celebrity,

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but as a mother, which is exactly what celebrities say

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right before their kids get named after a compass direction

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or a mathematical equation. The Harris campaign put the crowd

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at thirty thousand people, making it their biggest rally yet.

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So to be fair, when Beyonce shows up, even the

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Republican voters start humming single ladies. I heard Ted Cruz

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tried to get tickets but was told to the left.

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To the left. Kelly Rowland and Willie Nelson also showed up,

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creating the most unlikely duo since Trump and vegetables. Willie

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Nelson at a political rally. Now there's someone who knows

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about grassroots movements. The DJ kept calling it the biggest

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political event ever, which is like calling a Trump legal

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defense the most innocent ever. A bit of a stretch.

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They also kept referring to Harris as the first black

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woman president, which is technically jumping the gun faster than

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Trump jumps to conclusions about election fraud. Meanwhile, Harris is

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lining up quite the concert tour, I mean campaign trail.

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She's got Bruce Springsteen, Barack Obama and coming soon John

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Legend and Mumford and Sons. At this point, it's less

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of a presidential campaign and more of a really weird

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music festival. All we need now is Trump to counterprogram

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with Kid Rock and Ted Nugent. For the full American experience.

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Some of the rally attendees were asked whether they came

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for Harris or Beyonce. One twenty year old first time

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voter diplomatically answered both, which is the political equivalent of

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telling both your parents you love them equally and get this.

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Trump's people apparently used Beyonce's freedom in a campaign video

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and got hit with a cease and desist letter. I

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guess when Beyonce said I break chains all by myself,

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she wasn't talking about letting Trump use her music for free.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of

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AI Beyonce and the Joe Rogan Experience More tomorrow. As

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I guess, we're working seven days a week until election day,

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after which we'll have a clear winner and the country

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will be unified beyond one candidate. Who am I kidding?

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I'll be doing seven days a week for months now.