Jan. 30, 2025

Do DOGS want to cancel Daylight Savings Time?

Look, there's nothing funny about a plane crash so we decided to talk about something else.

Dogs may have a case for getting rid of Daylight Savings Time

Trump is using too many words, and wants to end NYC's congestion pricing.

Netflix is rebooting...

Show Notes
Transcript

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Calaruga Shark Media from New York City.

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A tale of traffic tolls and Trump.

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This is ballot.

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That's right, and we have a new reason to end

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daylight savings time. Dogs. Scientists at the University of Toronto

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decided to tackle the burning question do dogs care about

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daylight savings time? I'm guessing they started working on that

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after fixing the climate and curing cancer. They strapped motion

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sensitive watches onto twenty five sled dogs and twenty nine

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regular pet dogs, which, by the way, is probably the

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first time in history dogs have worn watches. Usually they

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just tell time by when their humans open the treat cabinet.

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Here's what they discovered. Working sled dogs actually needed a

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day to adjust to the time change. I guess even

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dogs hate mondays after daylight savings.

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But the pet dogs, they couldn't care less.

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They were like, oh, you humans change some numbers on

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a clock.

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That's cute, Now feed me.

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The really interesting part is that these sled dogs weren't

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waking up with the sun. They were timing their mornings

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around when their handlers showed up. Even dogs have learned

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to live by the punch clock, though, I bet they

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get paid in belly.

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Rubs and tennis balls.

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And get this, older dogs had more trouble adjusting to

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the time change, just like your grandpa who still shows

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up an hour early to everything for three weeks after

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the clocks change. The researchers recommend being extra gentle with

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older dogs during the transition. Maybe get them one of

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those giant number digital clocks, or better yet, just explain

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to them how daylight savings time works. I mean, if

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we can't explain it to humans, might as well try dogs.

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The study also found that most dogs spend less than

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five hours alone daily, which means dogs have better work

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life balance than most Americans. Maybe we should be studying

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them for more than just their sleeping habits. Picture this

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New York City finally launches this fancy new congestion pricing plan.

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They're charging nine dollars to drive into Manhattan.

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Below sixtieth Street.

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Why well, supposedly to fix the subway system and make

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traffic less of a nightmare.

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And surprisingly it's actually working.

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People are spending fifteen fewer minutes crawling across thirty fourth Street,

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which is basically a New York miracle. But here comes

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Donald Trump looking at this success story and saying not

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on my watch. Now, this isn't just any old traffic story.

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The MTA, and trust me, they've been sued more times

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than a personal injury lawyer's dream client. They're out here

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showing actual results. Traffic is down by thirty thousand vehicles

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per day. That's like removing a small suburb's worth of

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angry drivers from Manhattan streets.

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And poor New.

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Jersey Governor Murphy is over here calling it a disaster

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for working and middle class New Jersey commuters, which translated

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from New Jersey East means my constituents are met about

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paying nine dollars to sit in slightly less traffic. The

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best part, Trump hasn't even filled all the government positions

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needed to actually stop this thing. It's like trying to

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organize a surprise party but forgetting to invite anyone who

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knows how to bake a cake. So now we've got

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a situation where a program that's actually working might get

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stopped because well because Trump said he would stop it.

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White House stenographers are facing quite the crisis.

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You see.

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Trump is talking just so so much these poor stenographers,

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and I really mean poor, because their government employees are

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desperately trying to keep up with the verbal tsunami that

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is Trump's daily commentary.

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Let me paint you a picture.

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In his first week back, Trump spoke for seven hours

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and forty four minutes. That's longer than watching the original

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Star Wars trilogy.

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Now.

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I don't know about you, but I typically need at

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least four bathroom breaks and two meal services to sit

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through that much content. And we're talking eighty one thousand

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words here. That's more than three Shakespeare plays combined. Trump

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is out there making the Bard look like a quiet

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introvert at a party. Remember Joe Biden's first week two

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hours and.

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Thirty six minutes of talking, that's it.

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The stenographers probably spent the rest of their time doing

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crossword puzzles and learning to juggle. And Joe's last three

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years a total of eight words. But Trump, this man

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is everywhere. He's like a one man media circus. He'll

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talk to reporters leaving the White House, probably during his sleep,

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we don't know. The stenographers haven't figured out how to

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track that yet.

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And the content pure gold.

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He's out there claiming Hamas is using US funded condoms

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to make bombs in Gaza. I mean, that's not a

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sentence anyone expected to hear from a president, but here

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we are, and it makes for a good kicker story

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On a wise Ass podcast, the White House is now

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considering hiring additional stenographers just to keep up I hear

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the job listing reads must type two hundred words per minute,

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have supernatural hearing abilities, and be comfortable with stream of

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consciousness narratives about voter fraud, California wildfires, and whatever random

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thought crosses the President's mind.

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At three in the morning. JD.

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Vance is taking a really keen interest in who gets

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to ask questions at White House briefings, which is weird

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because usually the vice president's main job is to stand

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behind the president, looking concerned, while occasionally checking if they

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still have a pulse. Vance went on Hannity to announce

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they're going to be looking very seriously at which reporters

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show up to briefings, because apparently asking tough questions is

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now considered democratic propaganda. Next thing you know, they'll accuse

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reporters of being secret agents just for asking what Trump

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had for breakfast. The new Press Secretary Caroline Levitt is

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shaking too. She's giving prime seeding to what they're calling

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new media journalists aka podcasters, as in me, wouldn't that

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be a hoot? Mister President. I have a question I

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came up with using the help of AI. And here's

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a terrible idea. Netflix has commissioned a reboot of the

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long running Western historical drama series Little House on the Prairie. Oh,

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A Little House on the Prairie reboot fantastic. Finally, Netflix

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answers the question what if the wholesome pioneer family drama

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had more sex, violence and a moody synth wave soundtrack, And,

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of course, to modernize it, they'll introduce a wave teenage trapper.

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Character named Bear who refuses.

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To engage in gender norms but still slaughters a bison

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with their bare hands.

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Would I watch this train wreck? Oh? Absolutely,