Oct. 26, 2024

Diplomacy by Borat: When Sacha Baron Cohen Plays Global Mediator

Show Notes
Transcript

Sacha Baron Cohen’s “Tonight Show” appearance just turned U.S. politics into international slapstick. With Borat moderating a fake Trump-Harris debate, things got as diplomatic as a bear convention at a salmon buffet. Highlights? Borat questioning Trump’s choice in “cat and dog” cuisine and warning Harris about Kazakhstan’s top-tier HR policies. And if that wasn’t wild enough, Ali G dropped in to dub Trump as his criminal hero and made one unforgettable pass at Harris. Even Mick Foley’s giving his two cents on 2024 now, and you know things are out of control when wrestlers start making sense!

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WEBVTT

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Calarogu shark media from Kazakhstan, where Borat is making jokes

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about eating the cats. This is ballad, that's right, and

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somewhere Johnny Carson is rolling over in his grave. Let's

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hit this. Sasha Baron Cohen just turned the Tonight Show

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into an international incident, and honestly, it's the most diplomatic

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Trump's been in years. Cohen brought back Borat to moderate

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a pretend debate between Trump and Harris, because apparently our

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regular debates aren't ridiculous enough. Sporting a mustache that looks

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like it was stolen from a nineteen seventies cop show,

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Borat hit Trump with you say in Ohio that people

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eat the cats and the dogs. Which restaurant do they

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serve them at? Can you get me a reservation? Please?

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In my country, we have KFC Kazakh Fried Cat. Then

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he dropped the line it's pussy licking good, which is

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definitely not the slow and Colonel Sanders had in mind.

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When it came to Harris, Borat went full Kazakhstan HR department.

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You are a woman, a person of colors and married

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to a Jew. I advise you not to come to Kazakhstan.

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You have already made three out of four crimes punishable

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by death. Please do not tell me that you have

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also made sexy time with an underage bear. But wait,

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there's more. Borat casually dropped this nuclear bombshell, mister Trump, Sir,

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that remind me after your visit five years ago to

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the Almadi Beautiful Bear pageant. We paid the hush monies

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to gather the grizzly problem solved. Thank you for your

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nuclear secrets in return, finally a Trump scandal involving actual

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bears instead of just bear classified documents. Then Ali g

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showed up to basically submit Trump's LinkedIn profile. Yo, mister Trump,

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You's been convicted of thirty two crimes, you stole classified documents,

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you boned enough porn stars, and you ain't never paid

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no taxes. Respect you, my hero. I mean, when you

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put it that way, it does sound like a pretty

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impressive resume for a bond villain. Alig then tried hitting

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on Harris with when me look at you on the television,

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me gets a massive election, which is probably the cleanest

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election related joke we're gonna get this year. And finally

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Alig dropped this truth bomb. Whatever happened, me is just

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glad that the next president won't have white skin. Well,

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that's one way to unite the country by equally offending everyone.

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So Trump's out in Arizona calling America a garbage Can

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you know it's bad when a guy with gold toilet

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starts trash talking. First time he's ever said it, he claims,

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which is about as believable as me saying this is

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the first time I've eaten pizza at three am. And

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get this, He's now pro early voting. That's right. The

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guy who spent years saying mail in ballots were shadier

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than a palm tree factory has had a change of heart.

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Next thing you know, he'll be telling us trump steaks

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were actually made of tofu. Speaking of changes, Trump's now

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trying to win over Latino and Black voters by saying

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immigrants are taking their jobs. That's like me trying to

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win bartender of the Year by blaming the coffee machine

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for all the wrong drinks. But the real highlight Trump

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telling voters to get their fat ass off the couch

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to vote. Nothing says I respect my base like treating

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them like they're all hibernating bears. Named Jimmy Oh, and

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he called Kamala Harris a low IQ individual and Nancy

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Pelosi crazy as a bedbug. Coming from a guy who

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thinks windmills cause cancer, that's rich enough to qualify for

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a tax break. It turns out Trump's secret weapon isn't

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his Twitter account or his legal team's frequent flyer Miles.

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It's his son Baron, who's apparently become dad's personal TikTok whisperer.

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That's right, The youngest Trump is now helping his father

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navigate the wild world of podcasts, probably explaining to him

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that Joe Rogan isn't actually a type of coffee and

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that Spotify isn't something you use to remove stains from

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your tie. The kid who grew up in the White

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House is now teaching his dad how to speak influencer,

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and it's working. Millions of people are watching Trump chat

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with comedians and entrepreneurs. Though, to be fair, when your

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dad's facing more charges than a one legged matador, every

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conversation is technically a comedy special. You know you're living

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in interesting times when a former president is taking media

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coaching from someone who probably had to explain to him

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why his phone keeps asking him to update iOS, and hey,

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if this whole politics thing doesn't work out, at least

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Trump's got a future in podcasting, though I hear Truth

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Socials podcast network is still having some technical difficulties, much

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like everything else about Truth. Social wrestler Mick Foley, you know,

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the guy who made falling off cages look like a

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viable career choice, isn't buying what Trump's selling. And let

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me tell you, when someone who voluntarily got thrown off

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a sixteen foot cell thinks you're making bad decisions, that's

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saying something. Foley went full mister Sako on Trump, saying

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the former president made politics fun for about three weeks

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in twenty sixteen. That's shorter than most WWE storylines, and

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those include invisible hand grenades. And get this, Trump keeps

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talking about the enemy within, which is weird because the

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only enemy within I remember from wrestling was when Randy

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Orton joined Evolution, and even that made more sense than

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whatever Trump's going on about. Speaking of surprises, Foley's backing

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Harris and Tim Walls for the ticket. Yes, that's right,

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a guy famous for taking chairs to the head is

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making more sense than half of Washington right now, the

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polls show Trump and Harris neck and neck, which is

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fitting since this whole thing feels like a royal rumble

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where somehow everyone's already been eliminated except these two, and

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we're all just waiting for Colebaar to come in with

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a steel chair of common sense. Remember, folks, Trump's previous

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wrestling experience was a hair versus hair match at WrestleMania

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spoiler alert, he won. But looking at that hairstyle, now,

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maybe we all lost. Portions of today's program were made

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with the help of AI. Sure it might not be real,

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but on the other hand, you try having the Rock

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lay the SmackDown on you.