Feb. 12, 2025

Denmark's WILD Plan to Buy California + Trump's Bizarre Greenland Obsession!

Show Notes
Transcript

The latest political roundup dives into the most bonkers real estate deals in American history! From a viral petition to sell California to Denmark for one trillion dollars, to a Congressman trying to rename Greenland as "Red, White and Blueland," to Apple Maps getting patriotic with the Gulf of Mexico - this story has more plot twists than a Netflix series. Plus, Illinois's governor throws shade by trying to steal Lake Michigan!

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Calaruga Shark media from Washington, d C.

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Which maybe we should just rename to Washington Trump CE,

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this is ballot. That's right, we're renaming everything. Hi, I'm

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Joe Rogan, and welcome to call her daddy.

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Let's hit this.

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Some clever folks have started a petition suggesting Denmark should

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buy California for one trillion dollars. The petition already has

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two hundred thousand signatures, which honestly might be the most

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bipartisan support anything's gotten in California.

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Lately.

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Trump's been calling California the most ruined state in the Union, which,

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coming from a guy who wanted to nuke a hurricane,

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feels a bit rich. The petition organizers think Trump might

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actually go for it. They're offering one trillion dollars, which

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is coincidentally the exact cost of making the DMV run efficiently.

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And if Denmark does buy California, they're suggesting making the capital,

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you know, Solvang, already known as the Danish Capital of America.

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It's that town that looks like Hans Christian Andersen threw

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up all over it.

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But here's the best part.

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They're not actually collecting any money it's just signatures, so

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it's basically like starting a GoFundMe to buy the Moon,

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except the Moon probably has better infrastructure. And while we're

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all focused on this, Greenland's ice is melting faster than

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Trump's spray tan and Asana opening up new shipping routes.

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But hey, at.

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Least in Denmark's healthcare system, getting ghosted by your doctor

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only takes two weeks instead of six months.

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That's not even the.

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Silliest thing happening with Greenland Representative Buddy Carter and yes

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that's his real name. He wasn't assembled at Build a

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Bear Workshop, just introduced a bill to rename Greenland to Red, White,

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and Blue Land. Now, this is a real thing that

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happened in Congress, where they're supposed to be doing actual

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government work. To announce this with all the swagger of

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someone who just discovered that countries can have different names,

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saying America is back and will soon be bigger than ever,

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which is exactly what I say when I get back

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from the all you can eat buffet. But then Danish

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map andres vistasen came in with the political equivalent of sir,

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this is a Wendy's saying they need more adults in

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the room when America makes foreign policy. Coming from a

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Danish politician, that's the diplomatic version of bless your heart.

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And speaking of adults in the room.

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Trump is still obsessing over buying Greenland like it's a

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beachfront property in Miami. He's even talking about using military force,

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because apparently that's how real estate deals work.

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Now.

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The Danes are basically saying, we've had Greenland since nineteen

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fifty three.

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It's not a timeshare.

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But some Republicans went ahead and sponsored the Make Greenland

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Great Again Act anyway, because when you're trying to forcibly

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acquire territory from an ally, what you really need is

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a catchy slogan. The bill will probably get pigeonholed, which

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is Congress speak for we're going to put this in

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a drawer.

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And pretend it never happened.

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Though, honestly, Red, White, and Blue Land sounds less like

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a territory and more like a patriotic theme park where

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the roller coasters only go right. There's a lot of

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geographical rebranding happening right now. Apple Maps just renamed the

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Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America.

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Following Google's lead.

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Like that friend who copies your homework but changes it

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just enough to not get caught. They're rolling it out

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to US users first, probably because breaking the news to

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Mexico requires a more delicate touch. This all started with

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Trump's executive order on day one of his presidency, because

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apparently renaming bodies of water was at the top of

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his to do list. The Federal Board on Geographic Names

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made it official on Monday, and tech companies are falling

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in line faster than Black Friday shoppers at a TV sale.

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When asked for comment, Apple responded with the digital equivalent

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of seen and left on red. Meanwhile, Google posted on

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x explaining they're just following government orders, which is what

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everyone says when they have to do something ridiculous at work.

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Illinois Governor Pritzker decided to get in on the name

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changing action with some world class trolling. He announced he's

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renaming Lake Michigan to Lake Illinois, which is like putting

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your name on your roommate's leftovers in the fridge.

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But wait, he didn't stop there.

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He's also claiming Green Bay, Wisconsin, not the football team

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the actual Bay, though I'm sure some Bears fans wouldn't

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mind if he took the packers too. The reactions are

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exactly what you'd expect. Illinois residents are celebrating like their

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governor just declared pizza a tax deductible expense, while Michiganders

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and wisconsinights are about as thrilled as someone who just

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found out their parking spot got turned.

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Into a bike lane.

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One person on social media pointed out that Illinois only

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owns about ten percent of the lake, which makes this

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like trying to rename your apartment building after your else

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because you live in one unit. And apparently Pritzker's not done.

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He's got plans for the Mississippi River next week. At

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this rate, by March, he'll probably try to rename Lake

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Superior to Lake Illinois.

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Two electric boogaloo.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of

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Trump Intelligence, I mean artificial intelligence, but only the same parts,

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not the crazy things.

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You can't believe those were real