Criminal Trials, Cannibal Accusations, and the Age-Old Debate

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Caalarogu Shark Media from Washington, d
C. Where former presidents face criminal trials

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and current presidents face accusations of cannibalism. This is Ballot, the podcast where

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we navigate the bizarre world of American
politics, one laugh at a time.

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First up, we'll dive into the
historic criminal trial of Donald Trump, where

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jurors are promising to put aside their
opinions and focus on the facts. Well

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at least that's what they say.
Then we'll take a look at President Biden's

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latest gaff where he apparently confused Papua
New Guinea with a cannibal haven. Yikes.

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And finally we'll hear from Michael Douglas, who has some choice words about

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the age debate between Biden and Trump. All that and more coming up on

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Ballet. The Guardian took a look
at The Rock's presidential ambitions. They remind

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us that recently The Rock graced Fox
News with a lengthy interview in which he

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announced he will be withholding wildly coveted
endorsement in the forthcoming US presidential election,

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having given it to Joe Biden last
time. The reason The Rock believes that

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very endorsement his specifically caused an incredible
amount of division in our country. In

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twenty twenty two, The Rock said, I got a visit from the parties

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asking me if I was going to
run and if I could run, But

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he has left the door open,
saying if it ever happens, it'd be

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my honor to serve. It looks
like even the Republican Party has its limits

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when it comes to offensive comedy,
and apparently that limit is Rob Schneider.

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According to a report in Politico,
the former Saturday Night Live cast member and

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Adam Sandler's go to sidekick, performed
a stand up set at a Republican networking

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event last year that was so gross
and vulgar that the host had to give

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him the hook just ten minutes into
his thirty minute set. Now, I

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know what you're thinking, Rob Schneider. Offensive, no way, But apparently

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even the GOP has a breaking point. Before he was unceremoniously cut off,

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Schneider managed to squeeze in a joke
about Korean whorehouses. Classy, Rob,

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Real classy. The material was so
raunchy that it caused at least one lawmaker,

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Cindy Hyde Smith of Mississippi, to
get up and walk out. Her

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spokesperson confirmed she didn't have to listen
to it, and so she got up

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and left. I guess when you're
a Republican senator, you have the luxury

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of walking away from offensive content.
If only the rest of us were so

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lucky. The roughly one hundred and
fifty people in attendance, including more than

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forty Senate chiefs of staff, were
even emailed in apology by the events organizers

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the next day. You know it's
bad when you have to apologize for booking

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Rob Schneider. I mean, isn't
that just implied? At this point,

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it seems like not everyone is buying
into the myth of Donald Trump the business

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mastermind. In fact, a former
official who served under him has a few

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choice words about the ex president's so
opposed business prowess, Enter Miles Taylor,

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the former Homeland Security Chief of staff. In a recent interview, Taylor didn't

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mince words when it came to Trump's
business acumen. Donald Trump is not a

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great businessman, he said. He
is a failed businessman across the board.

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Ouch, talk about a performance review
you don't want to get. Taylor went

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on to list some of Trump's less
than successful ventures, including Trump stakes,

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Trump Vodka, and Trump Airlines.
I don't know about you, but I'm

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sensing a pattern here. Maybe slapping
your name on everything isn't the surefire path

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to success, after all, Monday
is the day twelve lucky New Yorkers will

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have the privilege of hearing opening statements
from prosecutors and defense lawyers as they paint

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very different pictures of the evidence against
none other than Donald J. Trump,

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a president on trial. That's unprecedented. We'll buckle up because this case has

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the potential to reshape America's political landscape
and test the limits of our justice system.

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It's like a real life episode of
Law and Order Potus edition. At

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the heart of this case is Trump's
alleged efforts to cover up a sex scandal

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involving a hush money payment to a
porn star. Because, let's face it,

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nothing says presidential quite like a good
old fashioned sex scandal cover up.

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Am I right. For those of
you who aren't familiar with legal proceedings,

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opening statements at a trial are like
overtures. Both sides present a preview of

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what the jurors will hear from witnesses
and see in documentary evidence. It's like

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a movie trailer, but instead of
explosions and romance, you get legal ees

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in courtroom drama. These opening statements
are tightly scripted performances where lawyers try to

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persuade and charm the jurors who will
ultimately decide their fate. Before any jurors

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were seated, defense lawyers ask them
a crucial question, what do you think

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of the former president? And boy
did they get some honest answers. One

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juror called Trump selfish and self serving, while another praised him for speaking his

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mind. I guess it's true what
they say. You can't please everyone,

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especially when you're on trial. These
jurors seem to understand the gravity of their

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role. One juror, a software
engineer, put it this way. I

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think that I can look at this
as a person on trial any other American

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citizen, and not take this person
who used to be the president as that

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and just stick to what's being shown
to me. At the end of the

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day, these jurors have a huge
responsibility on their shoulders. They'll have to

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weigh the evidence, assess the credibility
of witnesses, and ultimately decide the fate

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of a former president. No pressure, right but hey, if they can

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put aside their opinions and focus on
the facts, maybe there's hope for our

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justice system. After all. We'll
be right back with more ballot, including

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the story of President Biden's bizarre cannibal
comments and what the Prime Minister of Papua

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New Guinea has to say about it. Stay tuned. It seems like President

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Joe Biden has found himself in a
bit of a diplomatic pickle after making some

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rather unusual comments about Papua New Guinea. Apparently while speaking at an event in

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Pennsylvania, Biden mentioned that his uncle, an Army Air Corps aviator, was

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shot down in New Guinea during World
War II, and that his body was

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never found because, and I quote, there were a lot of cannibals,

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for real, in that part of
New Guinea. Now. I don't know

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about you, but when I think
of diplomatic relations, the first thing that

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comes to mind is definitely not accusing
a foreign nation of being home to a

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bunch of cannibals, as you might
expect, The Prime Minister of Papua New

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Guinea, James Marapi, was not
too thrilled about Biden's remarks. In a

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statement, he defended his country,
saying that it does not deserve to be

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labeled as such, and urged the
United States to clean up the remnants of

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the conflict in the region. Here's
the thing, though, US military records

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about Biden's uncle's death make no mention
of the aircraft being downed or of cannibalism.

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They simply state that the plane was
forced to ditch in the ocean off

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the north host of New Guinea for
unknown reasons, and that the three men

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killed in the crash were never found. So either Biden has some inside information

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that the rest of us don't,
or he just really wanted to spice up

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his story with a little bit of
sensationalism. I mean, nothing captures an

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audience's attention quite like a tale of
cannibalism. Right, it looks like Academy

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Award winner Michael Douglas has some thoughts
on the age old question pun intended of

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whether President Joe Biden is too old
to be commander in chief, And let

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me tell you, he's not holding
back. In a recent interview with CNNs

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for Reid Zacharia, Douglas, who
is a sprightly seventy nine years young,

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himself, was asked if he wished
Biden had bowed out and let the field

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choose somebody else, but Douglas wasn't
having any of it. He defended Biden,

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saying that everybody he's spoken to about
the issue has told him that the

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president is as sharp, attack and
fine. Now, Douglas did acknowledge that

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we all have issues with memories as
we get older, and that sometimes we

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forget names. He even mentioned that
Biden has overcome a stutter in his life,

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which might cause him to pause occasionally. But here's where things get interesting.

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Douglas then dropped a not so subtle
reminder about a certain former president named

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Donald Trump. He pointed out that
Biden's entire cabinet, including his vice president,

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would be more than happy to work
with him again in the next term.

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But when it comes to Trump,
Douglas said, and I quote,

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I cannot say that about the other
candidate running, because nobody in his cabinet

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from twenty sixteen wants to be involved
with him. NBC News reports that the

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share of voters who say they have
high interest in the twenty twenty four election

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has hit a nearly twenty year low. At this point in a presidential race,

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which kind of sucks. If you're
me and host this podcast, is

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there anybody out there? Well,
that's all for this episode of Ballot Thanks

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for joining us on this wild ride
through the world of politics. Until next

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time, Remember, if you can't
laugh at the absurdity of it all,

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you might just cry.