Oct. 8, 2024

Call Her Daddy and Howard Stern? Is the Harris campaign seeing terrible poll numbers?

Show Notes
Transcript

The Harris Campaign quickly shifted from a safe campaign of running out the clock to doing every show including even this one. Are they panicking over the numbers? Sure looks like it.

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Calaroga Shark media from Washington, DC, where my dry cleaner

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is calling. And no, that's not the least bit funny,

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but it will make sense in about five minutes.

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This is ballot, that's right, and Kamala is out making

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the rounds of respectable journalism like call her Daddy and

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Howard Stern.

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Heck, at that point, she might as well do this

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dumb show. Let's hit this.

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Vice President, Kamala Harris just played a round of sixty

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minutes hot potato, and let me tell you, it was

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spicier than a jalapeno wearing a sombrero. At the border,

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it was about as smooth as a porcupine in a

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balloon factory. First up the Economy, when asked how she'd

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pay for her three point five trillion dollars shopping spree,

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Harris basically said, don't worry. I'll just ask the rich

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kids to empty their piggybanks. I'm sure Jeff Bezos is

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shaking in his space boots right now. On immigration, Harris

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claimed they're fixing a problem, not promoting a problem.

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Oh okay.

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When asked about the administration's border policy, Harris pulled a

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move smoother than a coyote with a frequent crosser card.

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She basically said, it's not our fault. Blame Congress.

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I guess in Washington, passing the buck is easier than

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passing legislation.

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But here's where it gets juicy.

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Harris admitted she's evolved from her liberal roots to a

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more centrist stance, apparently traveling the country as VP taught

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her the art of compromise. I guess that's politicians speak

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for I'll say whatever gets me elected. Now about that gun,

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Harris proudly proclaimed she owns a glock. I can just

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imagine her campaign slogan now, Harris twenty twenty four, locked

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loaded and ready for a four year term. And get this,

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Harris said she wouldn't meet one on one with Putin

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to end the war in Ukraine. Apparently she's more likely

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to have a tete a tet with a cactus than

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with old lad. But hey, at least she's not Trump,

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who'd probably give Putin a foot massage and the keys

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to Keeve. Speaking of unlikely duos, Harris and Liz Cheney

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are now campaigning together. It's like seeing a vegan at

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a steakhouse. You know something's not quite right. Cheney said

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she never imagined this scenario four years ago.

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Neither did we, Liz, neither did we.

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Meanwhile, Minnesota Governor Tim Walls got a little lesson in

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watching his words from Harris. Apparently she told him to

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be more careful with his statements, and finally Trump decided

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to ghost sixty minutes faster than a tender date gone wrong.

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Harris's response, if he won't talk to you, just watch

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his rallies. Harris also made an appearance on the Call

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Her Daddy podcast. I guess when you're running for president,

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you've got to appeal to all demographics, even if it

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means cozying up to a group that sounds like a

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rejected name for a mafia family. Harris told the Daddy

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Gang not to hear No, I'm pretty sure that's not

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the kind of advice you want to give to a

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group with Daddy in the name.

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But hey, I'm not here to kink shame the campaign strategy.

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Now, some folks are raising eyebrows at this choice of

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media outlet, but let's be real. In a world where

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Trump's tweets used to set foreign policy, Appearing on a

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podcast named after a dubious paternal figure seems downright presidential.

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And let's not forget Harris is trying to become the

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first female president, so maybe chatting with the Daddy gang

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is just her way of saying, who's your daddy now?

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Our VP managed to keep it classy though.

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No favorite sex position questions here, just good old fashioned

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political pandering. It was less call her daddy and more

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call her commander in chief. But the real question is

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did Harris win over the Daddy Gang or did she

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just make everyone feel like they needed a shower. Only

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time in the ballot box will tell I guess when

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you're trailing in the polls, you've got to trade your

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podium for a podcast Mike. Now, some might say this

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is a risky move, but let's be honest. After watching

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Tim Walls fumble through his West Coast tour or like

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a drunk uncle at a wedding, Harris probably figured she

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couldn't do much worse. The campaign says they're trying to

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reach persuadable voters, you know, those mythical creatures who've been

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living under a rock for the past four years and

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still can't decide between Harris and the human twitter storm

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known as Donald Trump. Speaking of Trump, He's sticking to

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his comfort zone Fox News and other channels where the

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interviewers are about as challenging as a preschool puzzle. I

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guess when your hair is that delicate, you can't risk

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any hard hitting questions messing it up. But back to Harris,

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her team is so desperate to control her image they're

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probably wishing they could put her in bubble wrap between interviews.

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They've gone from pre screening questions at college events to

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letting her loose on Howard Stern. That's quite a leap, folks.

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It's like going from the kiddie pool to the shark tank.

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Maybe she can ask Howard about that blackface clip that's circulating,

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you know, the one where he drops the N word

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many times. Well, well, well, looks like our boy Timmy

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Walls decided to trade the land of ten thousand Lakes

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for the land of ten thousand fakes. That's right, Walls,

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grace Jimmy Kimmel's couch, probably hoping some of that Hollywood

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sparkle would rub off on him. Spoiler alert, it didn't.

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Walls has Harris saved in his phone as my dry cleaner.

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I don't know what's funnier the fact that he thinks

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that's a good code name, or the fact that he

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actually goes to.

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The dry cleaner. Walls, buddy, have you heard of wrinkle

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free shirts? Now?

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Walls claims he and Harris get on really well and

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that she makes him laugh. Well, Tim, after that debate performance,

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I think you're the one making America laugh. Speaking of

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the debate, Walls tried to pat himself on the back

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for asking Vance about the twenty twenty election. Too bad

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it took him fifty eight minutes to grow a spine.

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By that time, most viewers had probably switched to watching

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Paint Dry, a more exciting prospect than listening to Walls ramble.

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And let's not forget his grand finale declaring he'll wake

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up on November sixth with Madam President. Well, Tim, I

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hate to break it to you, but if you check

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the polls, the only thing you're likely to wake up

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with on November sixth is a severe case of political hangover.

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Your dry cleaner isn't doing Call her Daddy.

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And Howard Stern because she's got a comfortable twenty point lead.

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Panic much, I guess call her daddy and Howard Stern

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will be joining Kimmel and the Gulag when Trump wins.

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Not me. I've had Donald's back all the way, never

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made fun of him, not even once.

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How could I?

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With his physical fitness that puts Olympic athletes to shame.

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Milania Trump's book publisher reportedly sent CNN a two hundred

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and fifty thousand dollars interview fee demand, which they later

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claimed was sent by mistake. This comes as Malania prepares

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to release her memoir Milania Today. Two hundred and fifty

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thousand dollars for an interview. That's not a book tour,

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that's a heist. I guess when Malania said she wanted

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to make America great again, she meant her bank account,

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talk about putting the profit in nonprofit sector. And let's

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not forget the publisher's backpedaling faster than a Tour de

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France cyclist going downhill. Oops, we sent that by mistake. Sure,

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and I accidentally ordered a yacht last week. These things happen, right,

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But hey, maybe we're being too hard on Milania. After all,

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living with Donald Trump for all these years, that's got

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to be worth at least a quarter mill in therapy

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bills alone. And Let's face it, folks in the Trump household,

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free press has always been more of a suggestion than

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a constitutional right. I guess when your husband's legal bills

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are piling up faster than is McDonald's rappers, every little

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bit helps. Speaking of people who should divorce their husband,

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our favorite conspiracy theorist and part time presidential candidate, Robert F.

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Kennedy Junior, is in hot water with his wife, Cheryl Hines.

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And let me tell you, this drama is juicier than

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a GMO free organic watermelon. Cheryl Hines is considering filing

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for divorce. I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you. Who would

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have thought that marrying into the Kennedy family might lead

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to marital problems. It's not like there's any historical precedent

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for that or anything. But here's the kicker. Rfk Junior

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is begging her not to file. Oh, Bobby, haven't you

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learned anything from your family history? When a Kennedy man

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messes up, you're supposed to use your charm and political

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connections to sweep it under the rug, not beg The

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source close to Hine says, everyone's on her side, of course, Well, duh,

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I haven't seen this much public support for a wronged

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wife since well since the last time A Kennedy got

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caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

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Cheryl, there's only one choice here. Leave him. You won't

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be alone.

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You can always begin dating a younger guy with his

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own podcast, which he makes with the help of Ai