Biden Address to America recap PLUS Is Trump's insult material getting stale? Yes it is.

WEBVTT

1
00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:11.400
Callaroga Shark Media from Washington, DC, where Biden's teleprompter is working overtime to

2
00:00:11.480 --> 00:00:15.480
keep up with his stumble. This
is ballot, that's right, and Trump

3
00:00:15.560 --> 00:00:19.320
thinks being nice is something you catch
after getting shot. Let's hit this,

4
00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:25.679
Joe. Biden delivered an Oval Office
address that was part passing the torch and

5
00:00:25.760 --> 00:00:30.079
part I'm too old for this crap. Biden, looking like he just woke

6
00:00:30.120 --> 00:00:34.000
up from a nap in the Lincoln
bedroom, declared I revere this office,

7
00:00:34.240 --> 00:00:38.280
but I love my country more.
The defensive democracy is more important than any

8
00:00:38.320 --> 00:00:43.240
title, which is a fancy way
of saying I'd rather watch Matt Locke reruns

9
00:00:43.240 --> 00:00:47.759
than deal with another debate. He
didn't mention Trump by name, probably because

10
00:00:47.759 --> 00:00:51.920
he was afraid he'd summon him like
Beetlejuice. Actually, let's see if that

11
00:00:52.079 --> 00:00:56.359
works. I could use some high
profile guests on this show. Donald Trump,

12
00:00:56.439 --> 00:00:59.840
Donald Trump, Donald Trump, Trump
and Beatlejuice have a lot in common.

13
00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:03.320
They both love attention, have wild
hair, and tend to pop up

14
00:01:03.320 --> 00:01:07.200
when you least want them to.
Biden went off fortune Cookie on us,

15
00:01:07.519 --> 00:01:11.359
saying America is going to have to
choose between moving forward or backward. Between

16
00:01:11.359 --> 00:01:17.840
hope and hate between unity and division. Apparently he forgot the option of sideways

17
00:01:17.840 --> 00:01:21.879
while doing the macarena. Are soon
to be ex candidate also didn't mention his

18
00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:26.760
VP Kamala Harris. I guess he's
taking the if you can't say something nice,

19
00:01:26.920 --> 00:01:30.640
don't say anything at all approach to
a whole new level. Now some

20
00:01:30.799 --> 00:01:34.840
Republicans are calling for Biden to resign
because apparently they think running the country is

21
00:01:34.920 --> 00:01:38.159
like a game of musical chairs.
If you're not in the race, you've

22
00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:42.840
got to give up your seat.
But Biden's not having it. He's sticking

23
00:01:42.840 --> 00:01:47.120
around for the next six months,
promising to lower costs for hard working families.

24
00:01:47.599 --> 00:01:49.879
So get ready for the Biden's bargain
basement sales at the White House Gift

25
00:01:49.959 --> 00:01:53.599
Shop. As for his delivery,
let's just say it was about as smooth

26
00:01:53.640 --> 00:01:57.640
as a cobblestone street. He stumbled
over his words more times than I've stumbled

27
00:01:57.640 --> 00:02:00.560
out of a bar on New Year's
Eve. At one point, he said,

28
00:02:01.040 --> 00:02:05.200
in this moment, we can see
those we disagree with, not as

29
00:02:05.319 --> 00:02:09.560
enemies, as but as fellow Americans. Can we do that? I don't

30
00:02:09.560 --> 00:02:14.280
know, Joe, can we?
But hey, give the guy some credit.

31
00:02:14.960 --> 00:02:17.199
He's been through a lot. As
he put it, he stood in

32
00:02:17.240 --> 00:02:22.479
a winter of peril and a winter
of possibilities. Sounds like the tagline for

33
00:02:22.520 --> 00:02:25.639
a Game of Throne spinoff. Meanwhile, at a rally in North Carolina,

34
00:02:27.000 --> 00:02:30.080
Donald Trump, sporting his signature,
I just stuck my finger in an electrical

35
00:02:30.120 --> 00:02:36.280
socket hairdoo couldn't resist taking a jab
at Biden. He proclaimed, three days

36
00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:39.039
ago, we officially defeated the worst
president in the history of our country,

37
00:02:39.199 --> 00:02:45.560
crooked Joe Biden. Apparently Trump's calendar
is as reliable as his legal defense strategy.

38
00:02:46.520 --> 00:02:50.159
Fox News coverage included having on some
doctors who, wait for it,

39
00:02:50.560 --> 00:02:55.120
didn't think Joe looked too good shocker, A fair and balanced shocker. The

40
00:02:55.280 --> 00:03:00.960
esteemed panel of doctors who've never actually
treated Biden, but our ex's at diagnosing

41
00:03:00.000 --> 00:03:06.599
politicians through their TV screens had some
thoughts. Doctor Mark Siegel noted that Biden

42
00:03:06.639 --> 00:03:10.240
seemed to be reading from a teleprompter, shocking. I know next you'll tell

43
00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:15.919
me that water is wet. Siegel
was particularly concerned about Biden's lack of emotion.

44
00:03:15.639 --> 00:03:20.360
Apparently the president didn't ugly cry or
rip his shirt off while quoting the

45
00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:25.520
Declaration of Independence? How dare he
maintain composure during a national address. Meanwhile,

46
00:03:25.879 --> 00:03:30.599
doctor Robert Lufkin, who's probably still
trying to figure out how to unmute

47
00:03:30.680 --> 00:03:35.599
himself on Zoom, pointed out that
Biden's speech was less demanding than the more

48
00:03:35.639 --> 00:03:39.719
spontaneous Q and A debate format.
Well, no kidding, Doc, It's

49
00:03:39.719 --> 00:03:46.439
also less demanding than trying to assemble
ikea furniture while blindfolded. Doctor Ernest Lee

50
00:03:46.560 --> 00:03:51.479
Murray, a neurologist who apparently moonlights
as a TV critic, declared that Biden's

51
00:03:51.479 --> 00:03:55.520
speech was clearly better than the debate
talk about a low bar. That's like

52
00:03:55.599 --> 00:03:59.919
saying getting a root canal is clearly
better than being mauled by a bear.

53
00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:03.639
But the real kicker, the White
House Press Office, in a statement that

54
00:04:03.719 --> 00:04:10.080
definitely wasn't written by an intern five
minutes before deadline, assured us that health

55
00:04:10.199 --> 00:04:14.639
was not a factor in Biden's decision
to withdraw. What was the deciding factor,

56
00:04:14.680 --> 00:04:17.000
then, did Joe just want to
ruin my weekends for the entire month

57
00:04:17.040 --> 00:04:21.800
of July. In a shocking development, the producers of this podcast put this

58
00:04:21.879 --> 00:04:26.519
story here and not in the final
segment. Over the upbeat music with an

59
00:04:26.560 --> 00:04:30.839
expectation that I make it funny.
Fred Trump, the nephew of our favorite

60
00:04:30.879 --> 00:04:34.160
spray tand ex president, decided to
spill some family tea hotter than a McDonald's

61
00:04:34.160 --> 00:04:39.759
coffee lawsuit, and boy did he
serve its scalding. Fred, being the

62
00:04:39.800 --> 00:04:43.399
good guy he is, wanted to
use his White House connections to help people

63
00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:46.720
with disabilities. How naive of him
to think Uncle Donald might actually care about

64
00:04:46.759 --> 00:04:50.680
something that doesn't have his name on
it in gold letters. Now picture this,

65
00:04:51.399 --> 00:04:56.000
Fred's in the Oval office, probably
surrounded by more flags than a Fourth

66
00:04:56.040 --> 00:05:00.920
of July parade. When Trump drops
this gem, those people, maybe those

67
00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:04.319
kinds of people should just die,
according to Fred. When Fred later asked

68
00:05:04.319 --> 00:05:09.160
for help with his own disabled son's
medical fund, Trump, ever, the

69
00:05:09.199 --> 00:05:13.160
beacon of empathy, suggested Fred should
just let him die and move down to

70
00:05:13.199 --> 00:05:16.079
Florida. Fred, bless his heart, tried to explain that his son does

71
00:05:16.160 --> 00:05:20.360
recognize him, But let's be real, even if the kid didn't, that's

72
00:05:20.360 --> 00:05:26.120
not exactly grounds for you know,
letting him die. So there you have

73
00:05:26.199 --> 00:05:30.839
it, folks. Another day,
another Trump family revelation that makes you want

74
00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:33.920
to take a long shower. Stay
tuned for our next segment, Florida Man

75
00:05:33.959 --> 00:05:39.879
suggests moving to Florida as solution to
all problems. Oh wait, we just

76
00:05:39.920 --> 00:05:48.720
covered that Trump is trying out some
nicknames for Harris. Trump, fresh from

77
00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:53.720
his brush with mortality, declared,
something happened to me when I got shot.

78
00:05:54.199 --> 00:05:58.240
I became nice. Yeah, and
my ex girlfriend, Norma isn't crazy.

79
00:05:58.839 --> 00:06:02.240
Trump quickly followed up with you can't
be too nice, to which Norma

80
00:06:02.279 --> 00:06:06.639
said you can't be too crazy.
So I guess getting shot made Trump nice.

81
00:06:06.639 --> 00:06:13.120
For about what thirty seconds, the
crowd, clearly thrilled by this display

82
00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:17.879
of linguistic gymnastics, started chanting fight, Fight, Fight, because nothing says

83
00:06:17.920 --> 00:06:23.519
stable democracy like treating a presidential election
like a schoolyard brawl. Am I right?

84
00:06:24.399 --> 00:06:27.319
Or maybe they've just been playing a
lot of College Football twenty five on

85
00:06:27.519 --> 00:06:31.279
Xbox. Trump is running out of
original material, going with line, Kamala,

86
00:06:31.319 --> 00:06:35.360
Harris, you've been terrible at everything
you've done, he said, as

87
00:06:35.360 --> 00:06:40.600
though speaking to her directly. You're
ultraliberal, and we don't want you here,

88
00:06:40.879 --> 00:06:45.480
We don't want you anywhere. Kamala, You're fired as someone who makes

89
00:06:45.519 --> 00:06:48.519
Hackey jokes fifty times an episode,
the actual Trump making a your fire joke

90
00:06:48.759 --> 00:06:54.399
is as lame as well Donald Trump
making a your fire joke. Meanwhile,

91
00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:58.079
Harris, not one to be outdone
in the verbal sparring department, flexed her

92
00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:02.319
prosecutor muscles. Eventually said I've dealt
with bad guys before, and Trump,

93
00:07:02.600 --> 00:07:06.879
You're just another purp in an ill
fitting suit. Okay, she didn't say

94
00:07:06.920 --> 00:07:11.319
exactly that, but you get the
gist. So there you have it,

95
00:07:11.399 --> 00:07:15.199
folks, the twenty twenty four election, where the insults are made up and

96
00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:19.600
the facts don't matter. Portions of
today's program were made with the help of

97
00:07:19.639 --> 00:07:25.680
AI, especially the beetlejuice joke,
which, let's be real, was funnier

98
00:07:25.680 --> 00:07:26.680
than Trump's material.