Feb. 21, 2025

Barron Trump's College Life Causes GOP Meltdown, Trump's Gaza Riviera Plans, and Kamala Signs with Hollywood

Show Notes
Transcript

Patrick Gutfield dives into the absurd controversy at NYU where describing Barron Trump as a normal college student somehow became scandalous. Plus, Trump's ambitious plans to turn Gaza into a Mediterranean resort (minus the residents), Musk's hilariously hackable government efficiency website, and Kamala Harris making the jump from VP to Hollywood talent agency. A satirical romp through the week's political chaos where even attending class can become a national scandal and government websites are about as secure as a screen door on a submarine.

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Callaroga shark media from New York University where oddities go

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to class. This is ballid, that's right.

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Imagine actually attending class while in school.

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Let's hit this.

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Oh, the NYU College Republicans are having a meltdown because

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someone dared to say Baron Trump goes to class and

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goes home.

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The horror, the scandal.

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How dare she describe a college student doing exactly what

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college students do. The president of the NYU group told

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Vanity Fair Baron is sort of like an oddity on campus,

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adding he goes to class, he goes home. They forced

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this poor girl to resign for basically saying, yeah, he

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exists and attends classes. What was she supposed to say,

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he's a felon who cheats on his wife. The kid

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isn't even married, and he's not a felon anyway. This

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is like getting fired from a weather channel for reporting

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that it's partly cloudy. And the College Republicans responded by

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immediately inviting Baron to join their club. Nothing says we're

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not weird about this, like publicly begging the president's son

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to be your friend. Meanwhile, we've got Eric Trump out

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here calling his brother the most watched bachelor in the world. First,

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of all, has he heard of the Bachelor? Second, he's

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a freshman in college. The only thing he should be

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watching is his meal plan balance. The best part is

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the kid who asked Baron to play basketball but realized

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he wasn't really allowed to do stuff. Imagine having to

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run all your pickup games past the Secret Service. Hold on, guys,

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let me get a threat assessment on this three on

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three daddy. Trump wants to turn Gaza into the Riviera

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of the Middle East, but without any of those pesky Palestinians.

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That's like saying you're going to renovate someone's house by

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first evicting them and changing the locks. Sorry, this is

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now the Trump Mediterranean Resort and no conflict zone. Meanwhile,

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Egypt's coming in with their own plan now, like, actually,

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we have some thoughts about rebuilding Gaza with the people

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still in it novel concept.

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I'm interested in what they have to say.

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But on the other hand, Trump is better at casinos

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than they are.

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Have you ever stated at that pyramid place in Vegas? Yuck?

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The Egyptians are proposing these secure areas, which is basically

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like renovating your apartment while you're still living in it. Sure,

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the bathroom might be out of commission for a few weeks,

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but at least you're not getting kicked out of the country.

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Egypt's basically organizing in everyone but Trump meeting in Rio

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to figure this out. Everyone but Trump sounds like one

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of those meaningless Republican debates we had last winter. The

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Department of Government Efficiency is proving to be about as

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secure as leaving your house key under a welcome mat

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that says key under here. So the Musketeers launched this

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website claiming it's going to be maximally trans parent. Well,

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mission accomplished. It was so transparent hackers could see right.

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Through the security.

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They left messages on the site saying, this is a

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joke of a dot gov site, which honestly is probably

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the most efficient government communication we've had in years. And

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get this, they accidentally leaked classified information about intelligence satellites.

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You know, the kind of satellites Musk's own company is

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being paid one point eight billion dollars to build. That's right,

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while claiming to trace your tax dollars, they're basically drawing

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a map to where they're keeping them. The website experts

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said It looked completely slapped together, which is what happens

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when you try to build a government website the same

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way people make their dinner after coming home at eleven pm.

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Oh, what's in the fridge?

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Some PHP, a little JavaScript whatever, Throw it all in there. Meanwhile, DOJE,

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which is supposedly all about cutting costs, has somehow doubled

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its own budget faster than you can say maximally wasteful.

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They went from six point seventy five million to fourteen

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point four million dollars in about a week. That's some

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real Galaxy brain efficiency right there. Kamala Harris has signed

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with CAAA, you know, the talent agency that usually represents

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people who say things like in a world where one

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man must face his destiny. Well, apparently the former VP

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is ready for her post White House glow up. Listen,

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She's making all kinds of history here, first woman VP,

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first Black American VP, first South Asian American VP, and

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now the first former VP to have the same agent.

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As dramatic pause the rock. I mean, what's next?

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Is she going to start every speech with can you

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smell what the VP is cooking? And she's getting the

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Image Award at the NAACP Awards this weekend. Previous winners

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include Samuel L. Jackson, which makes sense because they both

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know how to command a room, though I imagine Harris

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uses slightly different language when dealing with difficult senators. You

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know what's fascinating, She used to be with them before

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becoming VP. It's like the political equivalent of getting back

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together with your ex, but this time you've got former

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Vice President of the United States in your tender bio.

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That's quite the upgrade from US senator seeking long term representation.

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The NAACP chairman called her a force of change, which

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is a lot better than what some people called her

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during those border crisis press conferences. But hey, now she

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can turn those tough moments into a best selling memoir.

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I'm thinking, Madam Vice President, from that little girl was

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me to that Big Deal was me. So now she's

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back with her old agency and they're probably sitting there like, well, well,

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well look who came crawling back after four years of

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being literally the second most powerful person in the free world.

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You think you're better than us, because technically, yes, you were.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of

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ai CIA and the Nerds who actually go to class,