Feb. 24, 2025

Ballot Mon Feb 24 ds-auphonicElon Musk's $5,000 Stimulus Check Proposal: Could You Be Eligible for a DOGE Dividend?

Show Notes
Transcript

Buckle up for a rollercoaster ride of bizarre news from the weekend! Elon Musk and Trump are floating the idea of $5,000 stimulus checks from DOGE savings, while measles makes a comeback in Texas and New Mexico due to low vaccination rates. In France, a stolen credit card leads to a half-million euro lottery win, and the victim offers to split the prize with the thieves! Join us as we dive into these absurd tales, and discover why sometimes truth is stranger than fiction. Plus, find out how you can stimulate the economy one impulse purchase at a time!

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Calarokas shark media from Texas where measle shots are for whims.

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This is ballot, that's right.

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Why consider modern medicine when we can have an outbreak.

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Let's hit this.

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It's time to talk about the latest buzz in the

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world of government efficiency and economic stimulus. And by buzz,

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I mean a wild idea that's been floating around the

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Internet like a stray helium balloon.

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So here's the scoop.

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Some folks are suggesting that the Department of Government Efficiency,

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or DOGE for short, could potentially issue five thousand dollars

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stimulus checks to American citizens. Yes, you read that right,

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five thousand big ones straight from the government's coffers to

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your bank account. Now, before you start planning your dream

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vacation or buying that fancy new gadget you've been eyeing,

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let's pump the brakes a little. This idea is based

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on the premise that DOGE, under the unofficial leadership of

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none other than Elon Musk, will manage to save a

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whopping two trillion dollars through its efforts to reduce federal spending,

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and even Musk himself has expressed doubts about the feasibility

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of hitting that target. But that hasn't stopped President Trump

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from hopping on the bandwagon. Just the other day, he

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mentioned that the administration is considering giving twenty percent of

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the DOGE savings back to the people. This came hot

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on the heels of Musk saying he'd have a chat

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with the President about the idea. Now, let's take a

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moment to appreciate the sheer audacity of this proposal. We're

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talking about the government essentially saying, hey, we've been spending

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your money all willy nilly, but now we're going to

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give some of it back to you as a reward

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for our own efficiency. It's like a kid promising to

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share their Halloween candy after eating half of it themselves.

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But here's the thing.

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Even if this idea of five thousand dollars stimulus checks

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gains traction, it's not like Musk and Trump can just

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start printing much and mailing out checks. Congress would need

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to approve the dispersal of funds, and that's about as

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likely as Musk giving up his Twitter account. The concept

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of a Doge dividend was first floated by James Fishback,

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an anti woke investor, whatever that means, who suggested that

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twenty percent of the money saved by Doji should be

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returned to taxpayers, with the rest going towards paying down

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the national debt. He even lobbied Musk directly on social media,

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because apparently that's how policy has made these days. But

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economists are less than enthusiastic about the idea. Some argue

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that it would increase the deficit and lead to inflation,

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while others point out that the savings needed to make

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these checks a reality simply aren't there.

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Even Musk's claim of.

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Fifty five billion dollars in savings turned out to be

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a bit of an overstatement, with an eight million dollar

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contract cancelation being misrepresented as an eight billion dollar savings Oops.

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So what's the bottom line here?

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Well, as much as we all love the idea of

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a prize five thousand dollars check showing up in our mailbox,

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it's probably best not to hold our breath. The Doge

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dividend seems about as likely as must giving up his

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Twitter account. Oh wait, I already used that joke. Hey,

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it's cost savings. At least we can take solace in

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the fact that our government is working tirelessly to cut

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waste and inefficiency. And by tirelessly, I mean floating wild

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ideas on social media and hoping they stick. In the meantime,

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maybe we should all just focus on being a bit

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more efficient with our own spending, you know, just in

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case that five thousand dollars check doesn't materialize. And if

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it does, well, I'll be the first one in line

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at the bank, ready to stimulate the economy, one impulse

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purchase at a time. All right, folks, We've got a

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doozy of a story coming out of Texas and New Mexico.

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It seems that measles, that pesky little virus we thought

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we had under control, has decided to make a comeback

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tour in the Southwest.

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Health officials in.

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Texas have reported nineties, yes, you heard that right, nine

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zero cases of measles diagnosed in the last month alone,

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and over in New Mexico they've got nine more cases

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to add to the tally. It's like the measles decided

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to have a little party and invite all its unvaccinated friends. Now,

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I know what some of you might be thinking, but wait,

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don't we have a vaccine for that?

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Why? Yes, yes, we do. In fact, we've had.

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A vaccine since nineteen sixty three, but apparently not everyone

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got the memo or the shot. You see, there's been

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this little thing called the anti vaccine movement gaining steam

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in recent years. Some folks have decided that they know

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better than decades of scientific research and have chosen not

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to vaccinate their kids. And wouldn't you know it, a

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lot of these measles cases are popping up in areas

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with low vaccination rates. Embark on an extraordinary journey into

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This captivating podcast series takes listeners behind the scenes of

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the Catholic Church's most solemn and consequential event, the passing

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the moment the silver hammer strikes the pope's forehead three

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leader of the world's one billion Catholics. Whether you are

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wherever you get your shows, Well, well, well, what do

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we have here? A classic case of finders keepers, losers

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weepers Not quite. This story comes to us from the

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land of Croissants and Eiffel Towers, where a couple of

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allegedly homeless gentlemen decided to test their luck with a

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scratch off lottery ticket. The catch they bought it using

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a stolen credit card.

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Ooh la la.

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Indeed, the victim of this grand theft lottery, known only

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as Jean David E, discovered that his backpack had been

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swiped from his car into loose, along with his bank

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cards and other important documents. The thieves made off with

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his chance at half a million euros. Now here's where

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things get interesting. John David, being the clever chap he is,

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asked his bank to block the stolen card, but alas

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it was too late, the card had already been used

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at a local shop to purchase the winning ticket. According

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to the shopfender, the two thieves were so ecstatic about

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their sudden windfall that they forgot their cigarettes and the

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belongings walking out like crazy people. I guess winning half

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a million euros can do that to you. But here's

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the twist. John David, the victim, is actually offering to

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split the winnings with the thieves.

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That's right.

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He's willing to let bygones be bygones and share the

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cash as long as he gets his wallet back. How's

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that for a generous gesture. I'm surprised the Russians aren't

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mind tricking Trump into letting John David settle the war

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in Ukraine. The thieves, however, seem to have vanished into

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thin air. As of Saturday, no one had come forward

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to claim the prize, and if they do, they might

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find themselves in a bit of a pickle with the law.

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John David's lawyer, Pierre Debusson, has launched a national appeal

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urging the perpetrators to contact his office.

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And make a deal.

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You risk nothing, We will share with you, he said,

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and you would be able to change your lives.

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But time is of the essence, folks.

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That lottery ticket will eventually expire, and, as Dave Buisson warned,

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is working against us. So if you happen to be

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the lucky thieves who stumbled upon this winning ticket, sure

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you might have to give up half the cash, but

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it's better than ending up behind bars. And to John David,

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we tip our hats to you, sir. Your willingness to

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forgive and share is a lesson in kindness that we

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could all learn from. Just maybe keep a closer eye

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on your backpack next time.

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Yeah.

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Portions of today's program were made with the help of

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AI and natural selection.