Feb. 14, 2025

Army Base Name Drama + Epic Flu Season + Rock Hall CHAOS

Show Notes
Transcript

Fort Bragg plays musical chairs with its name (and burns through eight million dollars doing it), learn about the WWII hero who Grand Theft Auto'd a Nazi ambulance, discover why this year's flu season is hitting harder than a metal concert mosh pit, and see why the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame nominations are causing more drama than an Oasis family reunion! Plus: Find out why Chubby Checker might finally get recognized for telling people to spin in circles!

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Caalaroga Shark media from Washington, DC, where everyone has the flu,

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the best flu, the biggest flu. This is ballot. That's right.

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Our flu is way better than the Canadian flu. They

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wish they had a flu outbreak as big as ours.

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Let's hit this. Let me tell you about the Army

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base naming saga that's turning into the world's most expensive

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game of musical chairs. So Fort Bragg became Fort Liberty

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in twenty twenty three, and now it's becoming Fort Bragg again.

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But plot twist, it's named after a different Brag. It's

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like when your mom remarries and you get a new

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dad with the same first name. Sure it's still dad,

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but it's a completely different guy. The new namesake is

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Roland Bragg, a World War II hero who pulled off

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something straight out of a Hollywood movie. During the Battle

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of the Bulge. He stole a German ambulance to save

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a wounded soldier, then drove twenty miles while getting shot

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at by literally everyone. The Americans were shooting because he

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was in a German vehicle, and the Germans were shooting

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because well, he stole their ambulance. Talk about a bad

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day at work. The best part. He only got away

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because he and his German captor were both Masons. It's

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like the world's most exclusive get out of war free card.

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Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth announced this change while flying on

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a military aircraft, probably because that's the only place where

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you can't hear the sound of accountants crying. See, changing

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these signs isn't cheap. The last name change cost eight

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million dollars. That's right, eight million dollars to basically play

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military mad libs with the word liberty. When they did

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the original name change, they specifically had rules against using

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substitute names like this, but apparently those rules were about

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as permanent as the name Fort Liberty turned out to be.

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So now we've got a base that's gone from confess

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brag to Liberty to different Brag faster than a teenager

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changes their Instagram handle. Though, I guess if you're going

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to name something after a brag, better make it the

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one who stole Nazi vehicles to save lives rather than

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the one who was, as the official report puts it,

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one of the worst generals of the Civil War. The

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flu is spreading faster than gossip at a high school reunion.

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According to the CDC, and these are people who count

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sneezes for a living. Thirty one percent of flu tests

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are coming back positive. That's up from eighteen percent in January,

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which is the kind of growth rate usually reserved for

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cryptocurrency scams. And get this, nearly eight percent of all

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doctor visits right now are for flu symptoms. That's the

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highest since the two thousand and nine swine flu pandemic,

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when everyone was walking around looking like extras from contagion.

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Doctor Linda Yancey, who's probably seen more flu cases than

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a box of Kleenex, says, it feels like everybody has

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influenza right now, which is medical speak for this is

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getting reds. The numbers are staggering, twenty four million cases,

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three hundred and ten thousand hospitalizations, and fifteen thousand deaths.

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And doctors are saying, we haven't even hit peak flu

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season yet. It's like we're still climbing the mountain, but

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instead of snow, it's all mucus. Why is it so bad? Well,

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only forty four percent of Americans got their flu shot

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this year, which is like showing up to a snowball

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fight wearing shorts. Plus we've got multiple strains running around,

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both regular flu and swine flu. Decided to have a party,

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and we're all invited, whether we aresvped or not. So

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remember to get your flu shot, wash your hands, and

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maybe consider becoming a hermit until spring, though at this

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rate even the hermits are probably getting the flu. Let

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me tell you about the Rock and Roll Hall of

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Fame nominations, which this year looks like someone put every

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genre of music in a blender and hit puree. We've

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got eight first time nominees, including Bad Company and Chubby Checker,

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who in I've in a dance that was basically just

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telling people to turn around in circles. And speaking of turns,

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this might be the most guitar heavy lineup since that

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time your uncle decided to show you his vintage amp collection.

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The real shocker here is how few women made the cut.

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Out of fourteen nominees, We've basically got Cindy Laffer, Mariah Carey,

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and two women who had to share their nominations with

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their bands. That's like having a potluck where almost everyone

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brought chips. Outcast and Mariah Carey are holding down the

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hip hop and R and B fort All by themselves,

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which suggests the Hall is going through a rock means

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rock phase like your dad when he discovered you listening

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to pop music. Then we've got Oasis getting another shot,

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probably because the Gallagher brothers finally stopped fighting long enough

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to reunite, though knowing them, they'll probably get into an

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argument about who gets to hold the trophy. The voting's

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gone digital this year, which means for the first time,

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Rock Hall voters won't have to worry about their ballads

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getting lost in the mail like all those birthday cards

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from your grandmother. And if you're wondering about the snubs, well, Coldplay,

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Garth Brooks and about twenty the other artists are sitting

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this one out. They're probably at home right now writing

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songs about not getting nominated. The winners will be announced

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in April, with the ceremony happening in Los Angeles, a

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city that knows a thing or two about putting on

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a show where half the audience is mad about who won.

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Portions of Today's show were brought to you by The

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Twist Let's Twist Again, and Let's Twist Again, using AI

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to help write the podcast