July 30, 2024

Are the Republicans weird?

Show Notes
Transcript

The Democrats new strategy of painting the Republicans werid seems to be working so far.

Kamala is all about the memes.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get all our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, hit the banner on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed!

Subscribe now for exclusive shows like 'Palace Intrigue,' and get bonus content from Deep Crown (our exclusive Palace Insider!) Or get 'Daily Comedy News,' and '5 Good News Stories’ with no commercials! Plans start at $4.99 per month, or save 20% with a yearly plan at $49.99. Join today and help support the show!

We now have Merch! FREE SHIPPING! Check out all the products like T-shirts, mugs, bags, jackets and more with logos and slogans from your favorite shows! Did we mention there’s free shipping?

Get more info from Caloroga Shark Media
Contact Johnny Mac at John at thesharkdeck.com
Buy Me A Coffee at www.buymeacoffee.com/dailycomedynews

WEBVTT

1
00:00:03.120 --> 00:00:10.119
Calaroga Shark Media from Washington, DC, where Kamala Harris is

2
00:00:10.160 --> 00:00:12.839
holding up a copy of Weird Owl's Mandatory Fun album.

3
00:00:12.839 --> 00:00:16.480
This is ballad. That's right. Actually, that's not right. That's

4
00:00:16.559 --> 00:00:17.519
just a meme generator.

5
00:00:17.559 --> 00:00:20.519
Patrick Patrick is the announcer's name, in case you were

6
00:00:20.559 --> 00:00:25.079
wondering anyway, there's supposed to be a joke in this spot.

7
00:00:25.280 --> 00:00:28.280
Jd Vance banged a couch. Let's hit this like a couch.

8
00:00:30.039 --> 00:00:34.320
It seems our presumptive Democratic nominee Kamala Harris has unwittingly

9
00:00:34.359 --> 00:00:37.880
sparked a musical revolution. Who knew that a simple photo

10
00:00:37.920 --> 00:00:40.119
op at a record store could lead to such chaos.

11
00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:42.880
It's like watching your dad try to be cool at

12
00:00:42.920 --> 00:00:46.719
a high school party, but on a national scale. Now,

13
00:00:47.119 --> 00:00:49.439
thanks to a South African web designer with too much

14
00:00:49.439 --> 00:00:52.079
time on his hands, we can all pretend Kamala has

15
00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:55.359
the musical taste of a twenty somethingter hipster who just

16
00:00:55.399 --> 00:00:59.039
discovered their parents' record collection. Want to see the potential

17
00:00:59.159 --> 00:01:02.000
leader of the free world? World holding a Cannibal Corpse album?

18
00:01:02.159 --> 00:01:02.840
Done?

19
00:01:02.960 --> 00:01:05.640
How about some obscure punk band from the eighties that

20
00:01:05.760 --> 00:01:06.920
only three people.

21
00:01:06.640 --> 00:01:08.840
Have heard of? You got it?

22
00:01:08.840 --> 00:01:11.640
It's truly heartwarming to see the Internet coming together to

23
00:01:11.680 --> 00:01:15.120
imagine a world where our potential president is secretly a

24
00:01:15.120 --> 00:01:19.400
hardcore metal head or an avant garde jazz enthusiast. Because

25
00:01:19.439 --> 00:01:22.680
nothing says presidential material quite like pretending to hold a

26
00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:25.760
copy of Goo by Sonic Youth. Right, but let's not

27
00:01:25.840 --> 00:01:30.159
forget the real victim here, Charles Mingus. Poor guy thought

28
00:01:30.200 --> 00:01:33.519
he was getting some presidential endorsement, only to be photoshopped

29
00:01:33.519 --> 00:01:37.239
out faster than a politician's promises after election day. The

30
00:01:37.280 --> 00:01:42.400
best part even questlove the human Encyclopedia of music has

31
00:01:42.439 --> 00:01:45.959
blessed this madness. When the roots drummer gives you a

32
00:01:46.000 --> 00:01:48.400
bless you, you know you've made it. In the world

33
00:01:48.400 --> 00:01:51.680
of musical memes, it seems Kamala Harris has gone from

34
00:01:51.719 --> 00:01:54.599
potential leader of the free world to wait for it,

35
00:01:55.280 --> 00:02:00.000
a walking, talking meme generator. That's right, folks, forget policy positions.

36
00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:03.760
We're now measuring presidential material by how many TikTok remixes

37
00:02:03.799 --> 00:02:04.719
your laugh can spawn.

38
00:02:05.439 --> 00:02:06.799
First, we had coconut gait.

39
00:02:07.359 --> 00:02:09.919
Harris quoted her mother asking if they fell out of

40
00:02:09.960 --> 00:02:13.680
a coconut tree, and suddenly the Internet was more excited

41
00:02:13.680 --> 00:02:17.479
than a squirrel in a nut factory, because nothing says I'm.

42
00:02:17.360 --> 00:02:20.000
Ready to lead like tropical fruit metaphors. Am I right?

43
00:02:20.400 --> 00:02:24.080
But wait there's more. We've got Harris's campaign embracing the

44
00:02:24.080 --> 00:02:27.680
brat persona. Yes, you heard that right. Our potential president

45
00:02:27.759 --> 00:02:31.120
is now officially a brat. According to pop star Charlie XCX,

46
00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:33.400
I don't know about you, but I always thought bratt

47
00:02:33.479 --> 00:02:36.000
was something you called your annoying little sister, not the

48
00:02:36.120 --> 00:02:38.719
leader of the free world. But hey, what do I know?

49
00:02:39.039 --> 00:02:42.000
And let's not forget the Ven diagram, because nothing says

50
00:02:42.080 --> 00:02:44.479
I'm in touch with the youth like referencing a graph

51
00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:45.840
most of us haven't seen since.

52
00:02:45.719 --> 00:02:46.800
High school math class.

53
00:02:47.240 --> 00:02:50.840
I can just imagine the campaign strategy meetings Advisor one,

54
00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:54.560
How do we connect with young voters? Advisor two? TikTok

55
00:02:54.639 --> 00:02:58.240
dances Harris, No, no ven diagrams. That's what the kids

56
00:02:58.280 --> 00:03:00.520
are into these days. But here's it's the kicker.

57
00:03:01.080 --> 00:03:01.680
It's working.

58
00:03:02.120 --> 00:03:04.039
Young voters are eating this up like it's the last

59
00:03:04.039 --> 00:03:07.280
slice of avocado toast at a millennial brunch. As one

60
00:03:07.319 --> 00:03:11.319
youth organizer put it, this makes Harris more relatable because

61
00:03:11.360 --> 00:03:14.479
when I think relatable, I immediately think coconut trees and

62
00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:15.759
ven diagrams, don't you.

63
00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:16.919
But in the.

64
00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:19.520
Politics of the schoolyard, I guess you'd rather be made

65
00:03:19.560 --> 00:03:22.080
fun of for ven diagrams than for banging a couch.

66
00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:26.639
This JD. Vance thing is still hilarious. Now.

67
00:03:26.800 --> 00:03:29.599
You might think being chosen as a potential VP would

68
00:03:29.639 --> 00:03:32.680
be a high point in one's career, but for Vance

69
00:03:33.120 --> 00:03:35.319
it's been about as successful as an open mic night

70
00:03:35.360 --> 00:03:38.759
at a retirement home. As our buddy John Oliver put it,

71
00:03:39.240 --> 00:03:43.159
his campaign rallies have less running for vice president and

72
00:03:43.199 --> 00:03:45.719
more bombing the bed at an open mic night that

73
00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:50.120
makes jebs please clap look like showtime at the Apollo Ouch.

74
00:03:50.840 --> 00:03:54.879
But folks, it gets better. Vance has been making waves

75
00:03:54.879 --> 00:03:58.240
with his let's say unique views. He's argued the twenty

76
00:03:58.240 --> 00:04:02.000
twenty election was stolen because apparently we didn't have enough

77
00:04:02.039 --> 00:04:05.680
election deniers in office already. He's also pushing for a

78
00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:09.680
federal abortion band without exceptions for rape or incest, because

79
00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:13.240
nothing says I care about people like forcing trauma survivors

80
00:04:13.280 --> 00:04:14.599
to carry pregnancies to term.

81
00:04:14.680 --> 00:04:14.800
Right.

82
00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:19.000
As I mentioned yesterday, the Internet, in its infinite wisdom,

83
00:04:19.240 --> 00:04:21.600
decided to spice things up with a rumor that Vance

84
00:04:21.639 --> 00:04:25.759
had let's say, an intimate encounter with a couch. As

85
00:04:25.800 --> 00:04:28.680
Oliver so eloquently put it, if you asked me to

86
00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:31.319
draw a man that f's his couch, ten times out

87
00:04:31.360 --> 00:04:34.720
of ten, I'm drawing this guy. He even went on

88
00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:37.959
to say, I've never seen someone with more couch effor energy.

89
00:04:38.519 --> 00:04:40.879
He looks like he watched the Tom Cruise Oprah interview

90
00:04:41.120 --> 00:04:42.680
and was jealous of Tom's shoes.

91
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:44.480
But here's the kicker.

92
00:04:45.240 --> 00:04:48.040
When Oliver's team reached out to Vance's campaign to deny

93
00:04:48.079 --> 00:04:52.519
these furniture based allegations, they hung up. That's right, they

94
00:04:52.600 --> 00:04:56.000
hung up. As Oliver pointed out, that's not a no,

95
00:04:56.199 --> 00:05:04.600
is it. It seems Vice President Kamala Harris has unleashed

96
00:05:04.600 --> 00:05:07.600
her most devastating attack yet on Vance, which is kind

97
00:05:07.600 --> 00:05:10.759
of messed up. It's not like jd. Vance bangs couches.

98
00:05:11.800 --> 00:05:15.279
She called him weird, which would be fair if jd.

99
00:05:15.399 --> 00:05:18.279
Vance banged a couch, But he didn't as far as

100
00:05:18.279 --> 00:05:20.319
we know, And what if he did, and what if

101
00:05:20.319 --> 00:05:22.959
he diverted election funds to pay the couch hush money?

102
00:05:23.360 --> 00:05:25.680
Good thing he didn't, And the ballot team wants me

103
00:05:25.720 --> 00:05:28.920
to be clear. Jd Vance definitely did not divert election

104
00:05:29.040 --> 00:05:31.600
funds to pay hush money to a couch, So stop

105
00:05:31.639 --> 00:05:32.639
suggesting that he might.

106
00:05:32.600 --> 00:05:34.199
Have, because he definitely didn't.

107
00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:37.439
When asked if his feelings were hurt, Vance laughed it

108
00:05:37.480 --> 00:05:40.800
off like a kid who just got picked last for dodgeball. No,

109
00:05:41.360 --> 00:05:44.959
not at all, he said, probably while writing Kamala is

110
00:05:44.959 --> 00:05:46.199
a mini in his diary.

111
00:05:47.079 --> 00:05:48.759
But wait, there's more.

112
00:05:49.199 --> 00:05:52.160
The Harris campaign, in a stroke of political genius, sent

113
00:05:52.199 --> 00:05:55.199
out a press release titled jd Vance is a creep

114
00:05:55.800 --> 00:05:58.639
Now I hope Trump drops out. I can just imagine

115
00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:03.319
the next presidential debate. Harris, you're weird. Vance, well, you're

116
00:06:03.319 --> 00:06:06.920
a cat lady. Anderson Cooper Please candidates stick to the

117
00:06:06.959 --> 00:06:08.360
issues anyway.

118
00:06:08.600 --> 00:06:09.560
That's it for today.

119
00:06:09.959 --> 00:06:12.920
Things are strangely calm at the moment. Unlike my ex

120
00:06:12.959 --> 00:06:16.759
girlfriend Norma. She'd be complaining about something and she's a

121
00:06:16.800 --> 00:06:20.160
cat lady. You know. Sometimes the crazy gets so annoying

122
00:06:20.439 --> 00:06:23.399
that the couch starts looking pretty good. I feel you,

123
00:06:23.480 --> 00:06:26.600
jd Vance. Portions of this program were created with the

124
00:06:26.639 --> 00:06:30.240
help of AI, and the whole thing is parody. It

125
00:06:30.319 --> 00:06:33.680
says so in the notes, jd Go bang a couch

126
00:06:34.199 --> 00:06:37.160
see you guys tomorrow or in five minutes when Harris

127
00:06:37.160 --> 00:06:38.079
announces her VP