Sept. 8, 2024

Are Taylor Swift and Patrick Mahomes Wife splitting up because of Trump?

Show Notes
Transcript

It sure was interesting watching the skybox at the Chiefs game. Are Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes no longer BFFs?

Meanwhile JD Vance said a bunch of stuipid things.

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Calarogu Shark Media from Washington, DC, where we have too

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many stories for Monday, so we might as well drop

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an extra episode. This is ballot. That's right.

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With a debate on Tuesday, most of these stories will

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go stale, so let's collect some sweet.

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Mid roll advertising money. Let's hit this.

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It looks like the political world just got flipped upside

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down faster than a pancake at an ihap. Dick Cheney,

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the man who once shot a friend in the face

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and made him apologize, has decided to aim his political

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firepower at Donald Trump instead. In a plot twist that

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would make m Night Shyamalan jealous, Cheney's throwing his support

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behind Kamala Harris. That's right, the architect of the Iraq

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War is now on Team Democrat. I guess Hell really

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did freeze over and pigs are currently doing loop de

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loops over Washington. Cheney called Trump the greatest threat to

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our republic in our nation's two hundred and forty eight

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year history. Coming from a guy who practically wrote the

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book on being a police boogieman.

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That's like Darth Vader calling someone else to evil.

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Meanwhile, Trump's response was about as mature as you'd expect.

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I'm surprised he didn't add nin or Nina.

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At the end, Liz Cheney, not to be outdone by

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her dad, unleashed a verbal SmackDown on Trump and jd Vance,

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calling them misogynistic pigs. I guess in the Cheney household,

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that's what passes for dinner table conversation. The Harris campaign,

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probably pinching themselves to make sure they're not dreaming, said

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there deeply respects his courage to put country over party. Translation,

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Holy cow, did Dick Cheney just endorse us?

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Quick? Someone check if the sky is falling?

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Trump took to truth Social, you know, that bastion of

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free speech where the truth goes to die, to warn

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us all about the dangers of unscrupulous behavior. That's rich

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coming from a guy whose idea of scruples is deciding

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whether to have two or three scoops of ice cream

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for dessert. He's promising to prosecute anyone who cheats in

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the twenty twenty four election. I guess he's finally he

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found a way to get his family some quality time together.

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And let's not forget his favorite catchphrase, when I win,

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It's like he's trying to manifest victory through capslock. Next

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he'll be telling us he can change election results by

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clicking his heels three times and saying there's no place

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like mar A Lago.

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But wait, there's more.

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Trump's hit list includes lawyers, political operatives, donors, and even

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illegal voters. I'm pretty sure he just described his entire

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twenty sixteen campaign team. And don't worry, corrupt election officials,

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you're on the naughty list too. It's like Santa's List,

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but instead of coal, you get a free stay at

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Club Fed. Anyway, I'm glad the list doesn't involve podcasters,

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and I want to remind everyone what a handsome, well

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hung smart, generous man Donald Trump is with great hair. Well, folks,

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it looks like we've got ourselves a regular political circus

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and JD. Vance is trying to walk a tightrope without

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a net. Let's dive into this three rings spectacles, shall we.

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In one corner, we've got Tucker Carlson, the bow tie

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enthusiast turned conspiracy theorist, giving a platform to a guy

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who thinks the Holocaust was just a big oopsie daisy.

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Because nothing says responsible journalism like rewriting one of history's

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greatest atrocities as an accidental spring break gone wrong.

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Then we've got JD.

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Vance, Trump's running mate and apparently the world's most reluctant

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fact checker, refusing to denounce this historical revisionism. His stance,

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we believe in free speech and debate, sure, JD. And

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I believe in unicorns and calorie free chocolate. Vance's campaign

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is basically saying we don't agree with the crazy.

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But we'll hang out with it anyway. Yeah.

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I made that mistake once the sex was good, but

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now she won't stop texting me. It's like saying I

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don't believe in flatter theory, but I'll still go to

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their conventions for the free snacks.

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So there you have it, folks. JD.

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Vance is still planning to chat with Tucker Carlson on

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the twenty first, presumably to discuss whether the moon landing

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was faked and if Elvis is still alive.

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It looks like JD.

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Vance has solved the childcare crisis, and his revolutionary solution

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is Grandma.

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That's right. Forget about policy reforms or increased funding.

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Just call up old Nana and tell her to dust

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off her apron Vance's groundbreaking plan seems to be, Hey,

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you know that relative who's been dying to spend more

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time with your screaming toddler, Let's guilt them into free labor.

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Because nothing says fiscal responsibility like exploiting family bonds for

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economic gain.

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But wait, there's more.

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If you don't have a convenient grandparent lying around, Vance

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has another ace up his sleeve.

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His solution make it easier for people who.

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Love kids to become daycare workers, because apparently the only

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thing standing between little Timmy and quality care is a pesky,

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ridiculous certification that has nothing to do with taking care

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of kids, you know, trivial things like first aid, child

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development or knowing how to stop a toddler from eating glue.

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Vance seems to think childcare workers are currently required to

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have a six year college degree. I hate to break

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it to you, JD, but most states don't even require

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a bachelor's degree for childcare workers. It's almost as if

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he's not quite what's the word informed. Meanwhile, social media

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users are having a field day. One person pointed out

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that they want grandma to work until she's seventy two,

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So how exactly is she supposed to babysit. I guess

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in Vance's world, retirement is just a fancy word for

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unpaid childcare provider. Then there was Vance winning at America's

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favorite game show, Who can say the most tone deaf

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thing about gun violence?

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Today's contestant JD. Vance.

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Vance declared that school shootings have become a fact of life.

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Vance's solution to this fact of life isn't to address

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the root cause. Oh no, it's to turn our schools

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into fortresses. Trump, not to be outdone in the empathy department,

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chimed in with his own pearls of wisdom. It's a

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sick and angry and we're going to heal our world. Well,

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thank goodness for that. I was worried we'd have to

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rely on actual policy changes or something crazy like that. Meanwhile,

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Trump is trying to modify the twenty fifth Amendment.

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I guess when you can't beat him, you just rewrite

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the constitution.

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Right. It's like he's playing monopoly and decided to add

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a get out of vice president free card. Our spray

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tand constitutional scholar wants to make it easier to boot

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out a VP who lies or engages in a conspiracy.

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I'm sorry did Trump just accidentally advocate for his own removal?

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That's like Colonel Sanders campaigning against fried Chicken. He's claiming

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there's a cover up of Biden's mental state. Coming from

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a guy who thinks windmills cause cancer and that we

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should nuke hurricanes, that's rich. It's like the pot calling

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the kettle orange.

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Well.

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Well, well, looks like there's trouble brewing in the land

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of sequins and touchdowns.

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Folks.

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Taylor Swift and Brittany Mahomes, once the dynamic duo of

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the Chief's Kingdom, are now playing musical suites faster than

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Travis Kelcey runs roots. Picture this Arrowhead Stadium, September fifth,

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twenty twenty four. The Chiefs are facing off against the Ravens,

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but all eyes are on the VIP suites. Why you ask, Well,

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usually you'd find Taylor and Brittany side by side, cheering

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on their men and serving up more chemistry than a

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high school science fair. But this time they're in separate suites,

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looking about as comfortable as a vegan at a BBQ contest.

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Now, let's rewind a bit. Turns out Brittany.

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Mahomes, wife of quarterback Extraordinary Patrick Mahomes decided to play

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a little game of like that post with none other

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than Donald Trump's Instagram. The post in question a lovely

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little listicle titled make America great Again, featuring greatest it's

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like keeping men out of women's sports and cutting funding

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for critical race theory. You know, just your average, everyday,

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non controversial political stance. Swifties being the eagle eyed detectives,

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they are caught wind of this faster than you can

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say anti hero. Twitter exploded like it was the fourth

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of July, with fans wondering how anyone could support a

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guy with more legal troubles than hit singles. Brittany, feeling

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the heat, fired back on Instagram with a post about

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haters and childhood issues, because nothing says I'm handling this

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well like accusing your critics of needing therapy. Meanwhile, our

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girl Taylor's been quieter than a library during finals week.

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She hasn't endorsed anyone for twenty twenty four yet, but

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let's just say she.

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And Trump go together like pineapple on pizza. It's a

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hard note from her.

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So here we are back at Arrowhead with Taylor and

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Brittany watching the game from different zip codes.

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Is this the end of Swiftny?

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Has politics finally tackled their friendship or is this just

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a timeout before the back to twinning and grinning plus

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Trump's over on truth social thanking beautiful Brittany like she

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just won Miss Maga. Swift, on the other hand, is

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probably writing her next hit, We Are Never Ever Getting

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Back Together, Stadium Suite edition. Let's not forget Trump's AI

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generated swifties for Trump posts, because nothing says stable genius

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like fake fan art of a pop star who publicly

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despises you. Portions of today's program were made with the

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help of AI and the Tortured Poets Society.