April 14, 2024

Ancient Abortion Bans, Trump's Twisted Endorsements, and Prison Presidency Dreams

Ancient Abortion Bans, Trump's Twisted Endorsements, and Prison Presidency Dreams

Join us for another hilarious episode of Ballot, where we navigate the ridiculous realm of American politics. This week, we explore Arizona's 1864 abortion ban that has comedians poking fun at its outdated origins. We also dive into Trump's...

Join us for another hilarious episode of Ballot, where we navigate the ridiculous realm of American politics. This week, we explore Arizona's 1864 abortion ban that has comedians poking fun at its outdated origins. We also dive into Trump's mind-bending endorsement of RFK Jr. and the mental gymnastics required to make sense of it all. Plus, we discuss the possibility of a prison-based presidency and the latest debate drama between Trump and Biden.

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Calarogu Shark Media from Washington, DC, where abortion laws are older than the

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urinal and Trump's endorsements are more tangled
than a game of political twister. This

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is Ballot. Hey everyone, welcome
to another episode of Ballot, the podcast

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that finds the hilarity in the absurdity
of American politics. This week, we've

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got quite the lineup for you.
We'll dive into Arizona's ancient abortion ban that

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predates cowboy hats and paper bags,
and ponder the possibility of a prison based

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presidency. Plus we'll check in on
the latest debate drama between Trump and Biden.

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All that and more coming up on
Ballot. Last week, the Arizona

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Supreme Court upheld an absolute abortion ban
based on a law drafted in eighteen sixty

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four that provides no exceptions for rape
or incest. Seth Meyers joked, eighteen

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sixty four, was anybody even there
yet? Was this their first law after

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Don't Shoot the Piano Player? Stephen
Colbear pointed out it's a law so old

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that it was passed before women had
the right to vote, to which the

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Supreme Court said, don't worry,
we'll work on that one next. This

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law is so old that it predates
the invention of the cowboy hat, the

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urinal, the paper clip, and
the machine that makes paper bags. Jimmy

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Kimmel said five major networks are working
on a joint letter to both candidates,

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urging Trump and Biden to debate.
They said the letter is not finished because

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they're waiting for more networks to sign
on, and it's taking a while because

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no one at Newsmax knows how to
read or write Switching topics, Kimmel joked,

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Of course, the cherry tree is
the basis for one of our nation's

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most cherished, untrue stories about a
young George Washington who used his new hatchet

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to chop down his father's cherry tree, and then when his father asked,

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did you do this, he replied, no, it was a total witch

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hunt. Well, folks, it
seems like our former and current presidents had

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quite different ideas of what constitutes a
good meal. Yesterday, while Donald Trump

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was out there pressing the flesh and
chowing down on some heavenly chick fil a

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with the good people of Georgia,
Joe Biden was living it up at the

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White House with a fancy schmancy state
dinner that's right. Trump was all about

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the Lord's Chicken, as he so
reverently put it, mingling with the masses

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and trying to convince them that his
third run for the presidency is a good

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idea. I mean, nothing says
I'm a man of the people quite like

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bonding over a shared love of waffle
fries and secret sauce. Am I right.

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Meanwhile over in DC, Biden was
rubbing elbows with the who's who of

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the political and business world. We're
talking Bill and Hillary Clinton, Jeff Bezos

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and his fiance Tim Cook, Jamie
Diamond, and even Robert de Niro.

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It's like a real life version of
Guess Who's coming to dinner, except instead

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of Sidney Poitier, it's a bunch
of CEOs and former presidents. And let's

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not forget the family off. Ashley
Biden and her husband were there, along

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with Hunter Biden's daughters. I guess
when you're the president, bring your kid

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to workday involves a lot more than
just showing them around the Oval office and

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letting them spin in your chair.
It seems like our dear old friend Donald

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Trump has found himself in quite a
pickle. The former president is facing felony

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charges in not one, not two, but four separate criminal indictments across three

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states and the nation's capital. Talk
about a busy schedule. Now, I

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know what you're all thinking. If
Trump gets convicted, can he still be

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president, maybe even run the country
from behind bars? Well, the answer

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might surprise you. Apparently the US
Constitution doesn't explicitly forbid a convicted felon from

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serving as commander in chief. That's
right. The founding fathers were so focused

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on making sure the president was at
least thirty five years old and born in

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the good old US of A that
they forgot to add must not be a

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convicted criminal to the list of requirements. According to the esteemed Professor Richard L.

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Hasen from UCLA, an election law
expert, the only other restriction comes

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from the fourteenth Amendment, which bars
anyone who participated in an insurrection from running

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for the presidency. But here's the
kicker. That's not even what Trump is

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on trial for in New York.
So if you've ever dreamed of having a

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president who can govern from the comfort
of their very own prison cell, your

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wish might just come true. Talk
about a captive audience, I guess The

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moral of the story is, if
you want to be president, just make

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sure you're not caught participating in an
insurrection. Trump wants you to vote,

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and to vote for RFK Junior.
Trump is now encouraging Democrats to vote for

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Robert F. Kennedy Junior, the
Independent twenty twenty four candidate, the same

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RFK Junior that Trump calls a radical
left candidate. I guess in Trump's world,

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radical left is just another way of
saying a better man than Joe Biden.

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The mental gymnastics here are truly impressive. Trump and s that if he

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were a Democrat, he'd vote for
RFK Junior every single time over Biden.

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Why you ask, because apparently RFK
Junior is more in line with Democrats.

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I don't know about you, but
I'm starting to think that Trump's understanding of

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political ideology is about as clear as
a foggy morning in San Francisco. But

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wait, there's more. Trump even
manages to bring up RFK Junior's pass support

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for the Green new scam. As
he so eloquently puts it, I'm not

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sure what that has to do with
anything, but hey, when you're Donald

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Trump, you can pretty much say
whatever you want, and your supporters will

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nod along like those little bobblehead dolls
on a dashboard. So let me get

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this straight. Trump, the Republican
front runner, is endorsing an independent candidate,

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calling him a radical leftist, and
urging Democrats to vote for him over

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their own incumbent president. It's like
watching a game of political twister where the

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players are all tangled up and nobody
knows which hand goes where anymore. I

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don't know about you, but I
can't wait to see what other mind bending

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endorsements Trump has up his sleeve.
Maybe he'll start campaigning for Bernie Sanders next,

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touting him as a true conservative or
something equally absurd. In the world

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of Trump, anything is possible,
and that's what makes it so darn entertaining.

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When we come back, it's debate
time. Well it's not debate time,

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but it should be. It looks
like Donald Trump is itching for a

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debate showdown with Joe Biden. The
former president's campaign has formally asked the Commission

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on Presidential Debates to move up the
fall schedule, presumably so Trump can start

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slinging zingers at Biden as soon as
possible. You know, I can't help

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but wonder if Trump's sudden enthusiasm for
debates has anything to do with the fact

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that he refused to debate his Republican
opponents during the primary. I guess he

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figured, why let Nicky Haley and
Ron DeSantis take shots at me when I

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can save all my best material for
Biden. But here's the thing. The

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Biden campaign hasn't even committed to debates
yet. In fact, Biden himself said

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back in February, if I were
him, I'd want to debate me too.

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He's got nothing else to do.
Ouch. Looks like the President isn't

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exactly jumping at the chance to verbally
spar with his predecessor. Now, let's

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not forget that the Republican National Committee
had some beef with the Debate Commission back

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in twenty twenty two. They demanded
changes in moderator selection and scheduling, claiming

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the commission was biased against Trump in
twenty twenty but apparently those concerns have magically

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disappeared now that Trump is the presumptive
nominee. It's almost as if the rnc's

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principles are as flexible as a yoga
instructor on a hot summer day. But

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who knows, Maybe they've had a
change of heart, or perhaps Trump just

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really wants to get his debate on. One thing's for sure. If these

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debates do happen, we're in for
a wild ride. Can you imagine the

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ratings. It'll be like a reality
TV show meets a political cage match.

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So buckle up, folks, because
the twenty twenty four presidential race is about

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to get a hold a whole lot
more interesting and probably a whole lot more

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absurd too. Well that's all for
this episode of Ballot. See you next

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week for more laughter inducing analysis of
the wild world of politics. Until then,

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keep your eyes peeled for any surprise
endorsements from Trump. You never know

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who he might back next.