Ancient Abortion Bans, Trump's Twisted Endorsements, and Prison Presidency Dreams

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Calarogu Shark Media from Washington, DC, where abortion laws are older than the

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urinal and Trump's endorsements are more tangled
than a game of political twister. This

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is Ballot. Hey everyone, welcome
to another episode of Ballot, the podcast

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that finds the hilarity in the absurdity
of American politics. This week, we've

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got quite the lineup for you.
We'll dive into Arizona's ancient abortion ban that

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predates cowboy hats and paper bags,
and ponder the possibility of a prison based

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presidency. Plus we'll check in on
the latest debate drama between Trump and Biden.

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All that and more coming up on
Ballot. Last week, the Arizona

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Supreme Court upheld an absolute abortion ban
based on a law drafted in eighteen sixty

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four that provides no exceptions for rape
or incest. Seth Meyers joked, eighteen

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sixty four, was anybody even there
yet? Was this their first law after

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Don't Shoot the Piano Player? Stephen
Colbear pointed out it's a law so old

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that it was passed before women had
the right to vote, to which the

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Supreme Court said, don't worry,
we'll work on that one next. This

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law is so old that it predates
the invention of the cowboy hat, the

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urinal, the paper clip, and
the machine that makes paper bags. Jimmy

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Kimmel said five major networks are working
on a joint letter to both candidates,

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urging Trump and Biden to debate.
They said the letter is not finished because

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they're waiting for more networks to sign
on, and it's taking a while because

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no one at Newsmax knows how to
read or write Switching topics, Kimmel joked,

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Of course, the cherry tree is
the basis for one of our nation's

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most cherished, untrue stories about a
young George Washington who used his new hatchet

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to chop down his father's cherry tree, and then when his father asked,

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did you do this, he replied, no, it was a total witch

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hunt. Well, folks, it
seems like our former and current presidents had

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quite different ideas of what constitutes a
good meal. Yesterday, while Donald Trump

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was out there pressing the flesh and
chowing down on some heavenly chick fil a

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with the good people of Georgia,
Joe Biden was living it up at the

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White House with a fancy schmancy state
dinner that's right. Trump was all about

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the Lord's Chicken, as he so
reverently put it, mingling with the masses

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and trying to convince them that his
third run for the presidency is a good

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idea. I mean, nothing says
I'm a man of the people quite like

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bonding over a shared love of waffle
fries and secret sauce. Am I right.

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Meanwhile over in DC, Biden was
rubbing elbows with the who's who of

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the political and business world. We're
talking Bill and Hillary Clinton, Jeff Bezos

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and his fiance Tim Cook, Jamie
Diamond, and even Robert de Niro.

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It's like a real life version of
Guess Who's coming to dinner, except instead

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of Sidney Poitier, it's a bunch
of CEOs and former presidents. And let's

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not forget the family off. Ashley
Biden and her husband were there, along

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with Hunter Biden's daughters. I guess
when you're the president, bring your kid

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to workday involves a lot more than
just showing them around the Oval office and

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letting them spin in your chair.
It seems like our dear old friend Donald

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Trump has found himself in quite a
pickle. The former president is facing felony

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charges in not one, not two, but four separate criminal indictments across three

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states and the nation's capital. Talk
about a busy schedule. Now, I

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know what you're all thinking. If
Trump gets convicted, can he still be

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president, maybe even run the country
from behind bars? Well, the answer

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might surprise you. Apparently the US
Constitution doesn't explicitly forbid a convicted felon from

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serving as commander in chief. That's
right. The founding fathers were so focused

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on making sure the president was at
least thirty five years old and born in

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the good old US of A that
they forgot to add must not be a

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convicted criminal to the list of requirements. According to the esteemed Professor Richard L.

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Hasen from UCLA, an election law
expert, the only other restriction comes

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from the fourteenth Amendment, which bars
anyone who participated in an insurrection from running

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for the presidency. But here's the
kicker. That's not even what Trump is

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on trial for in New York.
So if you've ever dreamed of having a

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president who can govern from the comfort
of their very own prison cell, your

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wish might just come true. Talk
about a captive audience, I guess The

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moral of the story is, if
you want to be president, just make

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sure you're not caught participating in an
insurrection. Trump wants you to vote,

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and to vote for RFK Junior.
Trump is now encouraging Democrats to vote for

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Robert F. Kennedy Junior, the
Independent twenty twenty four candidate, the same

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RFK Junior that Trump calls a radical
left candidate. I guess in Trump's world,

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radical left is just another way of
saying a better man than Joe Biden.

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The mental gymnastics here are truly impressive. Trump and s that if he

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were a Democrat, he'd vote for
RFK Junior every single time over Biden.

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Why you ask, because apparently RFK
Junior is more in line with Democrats.

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I don't know about you, but
I'm starting to think that Trump's understanding of

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political ideology is about as clear as
a foggy morning in San Francisco. But

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wait, there's more. Trump even
manages to bring up RFK Junior's pass support

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for the Green new scam. As
he so eloquently puts it, I'm not

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sure what that has to do with
anything, but hey, when you're Donald

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Trump, you can pretty much say
whatever you want, and your supporters will

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nod along like those little bobblehead dolls
on a dashboard. So let me get

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this straight. Trump, the Republican
front runner, is endorsing an independent candidate,

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calling him a radical leftist, and
urging Democrats to vote for him over

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their own incumbent president. It's like
watching a game of political twister where the

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players are all tangled up and nobody
knows which hand goes where anymore. I

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don't know about you, but I
can't wait to see what other mind bending

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endorsements Trump has up his sleeve.
Maybe he'll start campaigning for Bernie Sanders next,

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touting him as a true conservative or
something equally absurd. In the world

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of Trump, anything is possible,
and that's what makes it so darn entertaining.

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When we come back, it's debate
time. Well it's not debate time,

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but it should be. It looks
like Donald Trump is itching for a

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debate showdown with Joe Biden. The
former president's campaign has formally asked the Commission

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on Presidential Debates to move up the
fall schedule, presumably so Trump can start

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slinging zingers at Biden as soon as
possible. You know, I can't help

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but wonder if Trump's sudden enthusiasm for
debates has anything to do with the fact

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that he refused to debate his Republican
opponents during the primary. I guess he

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figured, why let Nicky Haley and
Ron DeSantis take shots at me when I

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can save all my best material for
Biden. But here's the thing. The

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Biden campaign hasn't even committed to debates
yet. In fact, Biden himself said

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back in February, if I were
him, I'd want to debate me too.

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He's got nothing else to do.
Ouch. Looks like the President isn't

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exactly jumping at the chance to verbally
spar with his predecessor. Now, let's

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not forget that the Republican National Committee
had some beef with the Debate Commission back

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in twenty twenty two. They demanded
changes in moderator selection and scheduling, claiming

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the commission was biased against Trump in
twenty twenty but apparently those concerns have magically

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disappeared now that Trump is the presumptive
nominee. It's almost as if the rnc's

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principles are as flexible as a yoga
instructor on a hot summer day. But

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who knows, Maybe they've had a
change of heart, or perhaps Trump just

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really wants to get his debate on. One thing's for sure. If these

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debates do happen, we're in for
a wild ride. Can you imagine the

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ratings. It'll be like a reality
TV show meets a political cage match.

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So buckle up, folks, because
the twenty twenty four presidential race is about

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to get a hold a whole lot
more interesting and probably a whole lot more

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absurd too. Well that's all for
this episode of Ballot. See you next

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week for more laughter inducing analysis of
the wild world of politics. Until then,

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keep your eyes peeled for any surprise
endorsements from Trump. You never know

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who he might back next.