The Performed Man: When the Armor That Protects You Starts Keeping Out the People You Love
What happens when the armor that protects you starts keeping out the people you love? Mike Poliwoda knows. He wore it for years.
Signature Quote
"Remove it slowly. Connect slowly."
— Mike Poliwoda
Why This Quote Matters
This is Mike's entire philosophy in five words. No dramatic transformation, no abandoning responsibility. Just a slight shift, enough armor off to be present with the people you love.
Mike Poliwoda started writing in 2022, in his fifties, in the middle of a dark time. He began with stories on Substack. In under four years he published five books across genres, from speculative fiction to poetry to nonfiction. His nonfiction book, The Performed Man, names something most providers feel but rarely say out loud: the quiet cost of always being the strong one.
In this conversation, Mike gets honest about the years he feels he missed with his kids while trying to be the strong provider, how responsibility slowly morphed into his identity, and the moment he realized the armor had become his permanent skin. He shares why real strength, to him now, is responsibility and endurance, plus connection, communication, and presence.
This is not a conversation about abandoning responsibility. It is about a slight shift. As Mike puts it: remove it slowly, connect slowly.
This Episode Is for You If...
- You are the one everyone counts on, and you are tired of carrying it all alone.
- You have ever wondered whether the provider role cost you presence with your family.
- You want to be strong without the emotional armor.
- You love someone who never takes the armor off.
About the Guest
Mike Poliwoda is a Canadian author, originally from Toronto and now based in Western Quebec. He started writing in 2022, in his fifties, during a dark time, beginning with stories on Substack. In under four years he published across genres: speculative fiction, literary fiction, poetry, and nonfiction. He now has five books out, with three more in the works.
His nonfiction book, The Performed Man: When Financial Responsibility Becomes Identity - A Field Guide, grew out of a lifetime of observations about providers, pressure, and self-worth. It examines how responsibility can slowly morph into identity, and how to reconnect with the people you love without abandoning the strength they count on.
A working man, family guy, and former drummer, Mike writes with kindness and zero judgment. His invitation is simple: take an honest look, make a slight shift, and be better for the people you love.
Connect With Mike
Mike's Substack: https://mikepoliwoda.substack.com
The Performed Man on Amazon: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B0H14PBQ3B/ref=mp_s_a_1_1
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-poliwoda-78a9459
Listen on Major Platforms
🎧 Spotify → https://open.spotify.com/show/2jVR6V7X2kRiCCDXE0FTyl?si=IR3TsfEWR3WA6BzfBRnVXQ
🍎 Apple Podcasts → https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-audacious-living-podcast/id1547447345
📦 Amazon Music → https://music.amazon.ca/podcasts/9f7902bb-dec8-4bd9-918d-d1fef21b7c67/the-audacious-living-podcast?ref=dm_sh_pGv57yQvAmAQVp2IIaXoDwtFt
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