Chapters
00:00 - Episode Introduction
03:42 - Fire Poker: Essential Apocalypse Tool?
11:42 - TikTok Ban and California Fires
21:02 - Drone Mystery Explained
36:21 - Are We Facing Societal Collapse?
52:40 - Microplastics and Human Evolution
01:05:58 - Chuck Norris Movies and Future Words
Transcript
WEBVTT
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Because every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals who he is.
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We got some breaking news, ladies and gentlemen.
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Definitely some breaking news Shit.
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You know what sucks.
00:00:41.045 --> 00:00:46.252
I got to stop that and then go back into this.
00:00:46.252 --> 00:00:59.948
So it's yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have breaking news straight from Southeast Asia.
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Jizzpaw Hit new single.
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No, he's been out of the States Ever since the whole Diddy Party's hit, so supposedly this is his.
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He wanted to get into singing and this is what happened.
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I guess he got a deal after the Diddy Party.
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Supposedly Is this gonna be footage of karaoke From China.
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It's supposedly is this is this gonna be footage of karaoke from from China?
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It's, it's.
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Listen, he's got a great voice and he he chose to go with the the Adele way.
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So do you think he did?
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how do I think he did?
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Yeah, I think I mean so in my experience, like big people have always been able to carry a tune, you know.
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Jesus Paul's a big guy, huh Right.
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He likes I heard he likes Way to fuck with the guy.
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He's not here to defend himself.
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Well, let's see what he's got.
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Well, he's naturally Whatever.
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Sorry, fat people were offended.
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Oh, by the way, Should we change this to red?
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I mean, it's really bright in here it is awfully bright.
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I'm about to go blind, but this is Jizzpaw's new single, fresh from Fort Lauderdale after a ditty party.
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Arrow.
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I'm shiny.
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I was wondering if you would write some beef with rockery.
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I come over from Beijing, I pray ping pong and pray to Buddha and say ching chong chong ching.
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I mean, let me tell you about that.
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Takes some balls doing that.
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He sounded good.
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Way to go, just pause.
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Yeah, bars.
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You gotta love those Chinese people, orientals, as Kevin called.
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Oh, boy so welcome to another episode of the Ticket Deep Show.
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We have Mickey Blue Eyes with us today.
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AKA the White.
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Rhino Special guest.
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Special guest.
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No, he's not glowing.
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He is that white, it's kind of crazy.
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Jesus Christ, bro, you look like powder.
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I thought that there was like a light on me, but that's just me.
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You're almost transparent.
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That's why we had to turn the light down to red.
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Yeah.
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That's kind of crazy.
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So Mikey's one of our, he's one of our agent aliens.
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He can.
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Unfortunately, he's transparent, so we have to put the lighting down low in here in order for him to come in the studio.
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I come in peace.
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We threw flour on him prior to so you could see the edges it's like that movie powder.
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We didn't want to glare um, all right.
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So we had, we had some brutal, we had some some other shit go on this week, all right.
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Um, one of the big things that kevin feels it's only gonna last a week, actually, quick question, I apologize, I wanted to.
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You remember, I spoke to you about this today.
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Three essential things that you want to take with you during the apocalypse or when shit hits the fan.
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Okay, so there's a scenario where we have to leave where we are.
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Just three essential things that you're going to want to put on your list, okay.
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Fire starter, probably some sort of water filtration device.
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Okay.
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And a semi-automatic weapon with all the fucking rounds I could carry.
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It's like six rounds.
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Well, okay, how do you feel about a fire poker?
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Is this a zombie apocalypse?
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No, this is getting taken out of context here, man.
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Who wants to?
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bring a fire poker.
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You leave a list out like that and I saw fire poker on things that people were saying.
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I'm like no Explain to me why, the fire poker.
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We really people were pretty saying I'm like no, I can't, okay, explain to me why the fire poker really should talk about this before Come on.
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It's so boring.
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Oh um, I thought it'd be more exciting.
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We were trying to figure it out.
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So like we were going through like scenarios of like shit to bring you know.
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Yes.
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We covered that you had to like yes, go somewhere, right?
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Um, no, like me.
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Ally lily in the kitchen upstairs.
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There's an actual list in a book that he saw that he's making reference to, and what it is is that at one point after we had complete, it was the last thing put on this list.
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That.
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How long was the list?
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There's a bunch of shit, um, but ali had said, well, we're gonna have, like, pots cooking on a fire, maybe, okay, right, okay, we're gonna need something to like get it she you know she's going back to the western days I said well, why not we get a fire poker, because it's got like a hook on it and shit and you could like hit something with it too.
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You know like it's kind of like a double purpose, you know like a whack away a coyote or something, you know.
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I mean, it's not uh, how close you letting those coyotes get dude.
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I mean, it's their house right as close as they want, right my first.
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My first like if you're outdoors, I mean, let's, let's be honest.
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if you and and ali and lily are out in the woods and you're cooking and a pack of coyotes attacks, I'm fairly certain you and Lily are walking away.
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I'm like fire poker bro.
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I'm fairly certain that's how it's going to work out.
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I thought the reason why I thought the fire poker I was going like medieval times and I'm thinking I'm like, oh, no, yeah.
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He would use that to fucking, to burn like a bad wound or something quarterizer wound.
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That's what I was thinking.
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I was going straight john rambo wow, yeah, no, like that was my thought, like the conversation was going and like she, she posed that question and at least said, well, what about like you just use a stick which you could, you know?
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And I was like, well, you could use fire poker too.
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We've got one right over there at the fireplace, you know.
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And I guess she wrote it down, like I didn't.
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I didn't know, she wrote it down, but apparently she did fire poker.
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Apparently she deemed it important, um, but again, it did have a dual purpose.
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Okay, rick Grimes.
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No, it's fucking.
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I I give him access to do draft kings and then, oh no, I keep on getting verification code, verification code.
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I'm like how many times is this motherfucker going into this account?
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So do you get?
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to see the yeah, I got I, he, I have access to it, he has access to it.
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So he gave me like 50 bucks.
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He's like can?
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He's like, if I give you 50, you put to see the yeah, I got I, he, I have access to it, he has access to it.
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So he gave me like 50 bucks.
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He's like, can?
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He's like, if I give you 50, you put 50 in the account for me?
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I'm like, yeah, so did that and he made a bet and he was very happy with it, so it's a good return for 10 bucks.
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We'll see I mean you do claim five percent I told him uh, 60, 40, I'm gonna take the responsibility of the account.
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He gets 60%, I get 40.
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Oh, he gets 60?
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Yeah, no, he gets 40, bro, it's his money.
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He gets more or less.
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Sure, he's too young to be gambling without your account.
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It's his money, yeah, but it's in an engine that you provide.
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Understood, so I told him instead of as long as he's getting a profit, he shouldn't be worried, yeah.
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This is how we get to Albuquerque.
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I told him I was like you're going to take it.
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If you win, you take a certain amount of that.
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Save that.
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Keep a little bit in the account and use the small amount to bet with, but save the large amount.
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Yeah so we'll see.
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Hopefully he hits the bet he put in, because it's like a $10 bet for $280.
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I can't remember the last time I hit a DraftKings fucking bet, so hopefully he hits it.
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And I'll be like dude.
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It's my account, bro, and that's it.
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So are we just doing, maddie, with the three essential things?
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Or was that just like a?
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Well, no, I just wanted to.
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You were just trying to find out about fire poker.
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I just wanted to see what his response would be.
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This fucking kid.
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Why did you think it was going to be something different?
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No, I just wanted to say a double-headed dill and a thing of KY.
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A good old drill, dill.
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I mean, I guess you could use a double-headed dill as a multi-tool also, kind of like the fire poker.
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My furry costume, oh God.
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Furry fucking head.
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So Mickey Blue Eyes.
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He's our super fan Ben.
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What's up, is he allowed?
00:10:05.933 --> 00:10:06.880
Oh, he's our super fan, ben.
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What's up, is he allowed?
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Oh, he's back on, he's back on.
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He's back on.
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He like went to DMV and got that all straightened out.
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I had to look.
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Something was messed up.
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He wasn't on our.
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He wasn't on our list of followers, or nothing.
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I'm like what happened.
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I don't know, was he in Facebook jail?
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I don't know.
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Oh, maybe it was him himself, not us.
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Perhaps he got mad at Pat for being a fucking dildo all the time and he stopped followers.
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First of all, maybe.
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What are you talking about?
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Maybe he takes some accountability for some of the racist things he says.
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How about that?
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I mean no more racist than anybody else in this room we're not racist, so stop it.
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Silly ben is totally 100 racist.
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I don't that is not true.
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We're joking ben I love you.
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I love you you say that all the time, but I think you get the fucking bug you know, or something?
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If I did, I would just say I did.
00:11:06.594 --> 00:11:12.645
It's a little niche for the show.
00:11:12.645 --> 00:11:14.791
Niche, it's a niche.
00:11:14.791 --> 00:11:17.690
Yeah, it's a Tom Oster niche.
00:11:19.077 --> 00:11:20.605
Tom Oster builds a mighty fine niche.
00:11:22.961 --> 00:11:33.894
Alright, so just received news that January 19th TikTok will no longer be in effect in the US.
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Just received that news Excellent.
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It's hot off the presses.
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Kevin seemed very upset.
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Nah, it'll be back in a week.
00:11:41.386 --> 00:11:41.586
Yeah.
00:11:42.139 --> 00:11:44.248
Well, Kevin likes to spend a lot of time on there he does.
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I mean honestly, I'd be totally fine if it went away, I'd be totally fine if society collapsed and no one could use their phone, but it'll be back in a week?
00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:57.626
Why does it sound like he's foreshadowing?
00:11:57.799 --> 00:12:00.109
Is that before or after you off yourself in the backyard?
00:12:00.500 --> 00:12:03.570
Or is that before or after you join the militia?
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He couldn't join the militia.
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He'd be like fuck it.
00:12:08.365 --> 00:12:09.187
I'm just ending it here.
00:12:09.187 --> 00:12:09.929
I've had enough of this.
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Mikey, do you think?
00:12:11.022 --> 00:12:14.389
Do you think OBS would join a militia and just kill people?
00:12:15.291 --> 00:12:16.293
I don't know if he'd kill people.
00:12:16.293 --> 00:12:17.966
He'd definitely have like a designated role though.
00:12:18.379 --> 00:12:19.686
A designated driver maybe.
00:12:20.460 --> 00:12:22.724
Yeah, he's got to stay back at camp and cook with the poker.
00:12:24.748 --> 00:12:26.331
That's an essential role, honestly.
00:12:27.552 --> 00:12:36.586
The town chef Like you all would be fucking pumped if I was like you're a cook in the bunker, if you're assigned dude, fuck you both All.
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I know is this.
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I'd be happy If he was assigned the cook.
00:12:40.725 --> 00:12:43.368
I'd be like I know I'm getting great meals every night.
00:12:44.988 --> 00:12:50.067
When you're done filling your Glasses, pass, pass that bad boy around here Um, you can pass it this way.
00:12:50.923 --> 00:12:55.587
So now, then there was, so you got tiktok happening, thank you.
00:12:55.587 --> 00:13:01.639
Then you had the information of these gentlemen with gasoline In California.
00:13:02.466 --> 00:13:03.294
Did you see that?
00:13:03.597 --> 00:13:06.269
yeah, like pouring them in like sewer grates and shit.
00:13:06.269 --> 00:13:08.307
And they just arrested a man with a blowtorch.
00:13:08.989 --> 00:13:11.024
Yeah, what's going on?
00:13:11.326 --> 00:13:11.486
What.
00:13:13.163 --> 00:13:17.572
A guy got arrested for supposedly starting the fires with a flamethrower.
00:13:19.461 --> 00:13:21.528
He was like a homeless, unidentified man.
00:13:22.080 --> 00:13:27.653
Not only that, then people got caught pouring gasoline in the drains and shit.
00:13:27.720 --> 00:13:29.226
Well, the craziest part is they didn't catch them.
00:13:29.226 --> 00:13:31.120
They're still unidentified.
00:13:31.120 --> 00:13:33.169
Oh, but there's people doing it.
00:13:34.500 --> 00:13:40.111
There's video footage of people setting fires in LA, but they can't catch anybody.
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They don't know who anybody is.
00:13:41.259 --> 00:13:47.491
And supposedly it's a homeless guy with a fucking flamethrower, that's awesome.
00:13:47.511 --> 00:13:48.254
Who started this?
00:13:48.254 --> 00:13:49.886
That's fucking awesome.
00:13:49.886 --> 00:13:51.166
Guy's last name is Pelosi.
00:13:52.360 --> 00:13:53.927
That place can burn.
00:13:53.927 --> 00:13:59.423
Man, fucking LA Hollywood, fucking Sodom and Gomorrah, burn, go away.
00:13:59.423 --> 00:14:03.346
Goodbye, wow, sodom and Gomorrah.
00:14:03.346 --> 00:14:07.711
You know, wow, there's not a good soul in that fucking town, man.
00:14:08.311 --> 00:14:10.854
I mean, there's some innocents in that town, yeah.
00:14:11.354 --> 00:14:13.897
Not all of them are miserable cocksucking scumbags.
00:14:13.897 --> 00:14:23.676
I'm sure there's a percentage of the population that's like good people and shit, but that place like I'm not upset, that place is burning at all Like good riddance.
00:14:23.676 --> 00:14:24.625
I'm not upset, that place is burning at all Like good riddance.
00:14:26.432 --> 00:14:34.505
I feel like the only downside Is they're like immigrating into Other cities, like they're gonna have to like move towards like Texas and shit like that.
00:14:34.505 --> 00:14:36.506
That's fine, if fucking Texas will shoot them.
00:14:37.623 --> 00:14:38.125
Yeah, dude.
00:14:39.625 --> 00:14:49.803
To me that's like just because of, like, the pansiness and the Cuntiness of Californians Sorry Californians, sorry Californians, you're all a bunch of cunts.
00:14:49.803 --> 00:15:03.715
That's when there's like a revolution because, like, they'll all start coming from California to Texas and it's like a fucking big LBGTQ fucking World War out in Vegas or something.
00:15:06.000 --> 00:15:06.120
Yeah.
00:15:06.259 --> 00:15:15.264
I think even even the fags in Texas would win, though Right, I'll take a gay Texan over a gay Californian.
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All day, all day, every day right.
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Fucking horns, baby Fucking horns, horn them, horn them, jesus Christ.
00:15:27.325 --> 00:15:29.509
Listen horns, baby fucking horns, horn them, horn them, jesus christ.
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