Beneath The Surface: When Grief Goes Unnoticed in the Virtual World
A reflection on virtual connection, authenticity, digital grief, and the hidden costs of surface-level engagement. Inspired by the memory of Aida, a true light in this digital world.
by BlakkMomba | Host of Momba Raw and Unfiltered
The Virtual REALm Is Now Home
I think that we can all agree that humanity has pretty much acclimated to the Virtual REALm.
There are a few leftovers that are holding on for dear life to their “traditional” perspectives, thought processes, and mindsets.
You know, those people who love to say “back in my day” and who refuse to adapt and adjust to the ever-present changes in our new technological REALity?
They are technophobes.
And don’t get me wrong, there are some traditions that are amazing and will forever live in infamy, but it is dependent upon WHAT and WHOSE traditions we are talking about—some of them need to be discontinued.
Some of them weren’t designed with people like me in mind.
The Rise of the Virtual Connection
Yesterday, I got to thinking about my social media experiences and how necessary and vital it is to know how to make QUALITY connections in the virtual world.
Earth has been hijacked by technology.
The Virtual REALm has reached critical mass and is now almost entirely superimposed over the Physical REALm.
It is bleeding through into life as we know it and soon, this world we exist in will look and feel quite different.
Survival of the fittest is no truer observation for these modern times.
Change isn’t coming…change is already here!
We must learn to adapt or we will perish.
Authenticity & Discernment: The Virtual Superpowers
Unfortunately, some people are having trouble adapting to these new virtual REALities and do not have a clue about how to maneuver within them.
Why though?
You might be amazed at how often people inquire about how I do what I do in the ways that I do it; how I make quality connections with dope souls and produce a podcast with them that leaves a listener feeling as if these people and I have known each other our entire lives?
People have asked me this so often that, if you haven’t noticed, I have started leaving a disclaimer in my introduction informing listeners that:
I do not KNOW these guests, that our connection was made online, and most of our interactions are solely in the virtual world.
But That won't stand true for long.
There are several energies that if blessed with the opportunity, I would dive feet first at the chance to experience their energy in the flesh.
Some of us are already planning to meet.
Well, listen up!!!
Because I’m gonna tell you exactly how I do what I do.
It’s called…
AUTHENTICITY
You see, there is no “secret to success” story for my motion in the virtual world.
I come as I am and simply present myself in the same way that I do in my physical REALity.
And because light attracts light, it has made it almost seamless…
effortless…
to locate and connect with the other like-minded people, higher vibrational mindsets, and light bringers.
When you have that kind of light energy---the purest and rarest form of it---your light is akin to a beacon that shines supernaturally bright in the darkness.
Like a lighthouse that guides ships safely to harbor, your light will be visible in even the murkiest of conditions.
But take note:
DISCERNMENT is also the key to navigation in the virtual world and must be utilized before establishing connections.
Like I said before, energy is everything! Energy cannot lie to you.
You cannot dress it up, and you cannot fake it.
What's in you is what's in you and what aint?
Well...it just aint.
A person’s energy will ALWAYS bleed through when they are operating falsely.
Even when they think that they have masked their innate energy signature from the world, it can never truly be hidden.
It’s called your “TRUE COLORS!”
And it is what it is… true… so it would behoove you to trust what you know, feel, and see with your own EYE.
Digital Discernment Is Survival
Discernment is my favorite gift.
It will save your life.
Literally.
Discernment is powerful!
It is so unfortunate that a lot of people don’t know about it.
They either don’t know how to activate it, hone it, or use it.
And they wonder why they are living a life full of toxicity and undesirable outcomes, but I digress…
If you don’t know how to be authentically you or how to move with organic and genuine purposes and/or use the free gift of discernment, then all of your social media and virtual experiences will stay as they are…
irrelevant,
superficial,
and phony.
To experience authentic and genuine interactions, connections, collaborations… the SUPPORT of dope souls in virtual spaces, has requirements that if unmet, will keep you from being able to make these type of connections.
Digital Death and the Illusion of Presence
The other night on my timeline I saw a post from a supporter who had recently passed away.
I had an immediate reaction because who in the hell would be operating a deceased person’s social media and especially without a disclaimer?
So y’all know me…
I blatantly asked who was operating the page and to let us know because seeing that post on my timeline… was triggering.
Do you know why it triggered me?
Because when I went to go click on the post, I saw nothing but a sea of comments, reactions, and emojis from people who were unaware that she had transitioned!!! That’s so messed up.
Come to find out, it was her mother operating the page and it could very well be that she did make an announcement about it, but I hadn’t been to Aida’s page since her passing and would not be aware if she did.
I just knew in the moment that it didn’t make sense to me.
I needed to know what was up.
Aida’s Legacy of Love and Light
Aida was a true dope soul!
She was my first official fan!
This beautiful soul shared my content consistently on all her platforms, she listened to every single episode and left me feedback, and she participated in Spotify’s Q&A questions.
Aida messaged me personally to tell me how this platform was helping her and that it was valuable to her.
She kept me encouraged.
When I got ready to drop this current season of Momba Raw and Unfiltered, she was one of the first people to know and get a link.
I KNEW she appreciated me as a real living and breathing human being in the virtual world.
Getting the news of her passing via Facebook and then seeing these people all over her page and posts that didn’t know she passed away or quite possibly forgot…
that really got stuck in my tooth!
Like a piece of chicken or a popcorn hull that compels you to remove it immediately, I had to check this out on principle.
I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t.
I wouldn't be human.
Your Vibe Will Attract Your Tribe
So in a nutshell, if you want to have higher vibrational interactions in the virtual world and in your virtual REALities, then move authentically.
Stay rooted in your purpose, whatever that is, and your tribe will find you and you will find your tribe.
“Your vibe will attract your tribe.”
When you bring nothing but yourself to the table, you don’t have to pretend.
You don’t have to front.
You don’t have to sit at tables that do not acknowledge and celebrate you for you—and really, you should not want to.
I can’t fake anything.
I don’t know how people do.
It isn’t sustainable.
Your true colors will eventually bleed through.
It has to be exhausting, living a life that is contrary to who you are on a molecular level.
Do you know who you are?
If you don’t, I implore you to find out immediately.
Expeditiously. ASAP!
Choose Energy That Nourishes
I hope you choose to dig deep next time you enter these virtual spaces.
I mean, you are here now reading my this, so, time like the present, right?
Take this opportunity to really consider the energy you are wasting on people, places, and things in both the physical and virtual worlds—things that do not add to you but only subtract from you.
I just wanted to leave you with these thoughts today.
That post just hit home and really reinforced why I do what I do in the ways that I do them.
Aida’s digital energy will never die and although she has passed on, her energy still found a way to touch me in the virtual world.
That is amazing.
So, I can tell you how to do all of this and more but it is your energy that will speak for you and reflect itself in your REALities.
The type of people that you choose to interact with, grow with, and build with are a direct reflection of you, your character, and your true colors.
Reflect on that.
Shoutout: Da Tunnel Radio
Before I go, I want to mention Da Tunnel Radio.
If you love community and music that is for the culture, I can guarantee that not only will you get to witness what authentic light-filled interactions and collaborations look like in the virtual—you will also feel it.
What they are doing for underground music, the community, and the culture is nothing less than honest.
Can’t nobody tell me nothing about them and their platform because their energy speaks for them!
Go check them out!
Until next time, be sure to drink your water.
Water is life. Figuratively and literally.
Peace, love, and light ✨
---Blakkmomba
UNtitled Poetic Reflections From "Beneath the Surface"
I used to be so good at smiling. So good at laughing. So good at hiding.
I didn’t even know I was hiding. Until I realized I couldn’t breathe.
And the only thing more frustrating than being unseen…
…is finally being seen — and misunderstood.
Because then you wonder if you should’ve just stayed silent.
They say, “Why didn’t you say anything?”
But when you did, you were met with a million invalidations.
A million justifications.
A million ways of being told that your truth was too much.
Too complicated. Too heavy. Too broken. Too late.
So, you learn to be quiet.
You learn to self-soothe.
To minimize your symptoms.
To master the “I’m fine” smile.
To perform healing.
To swallow rage.
To cry without sound.
To be likable.
To be digestible.
To be strong.
And somewhere along the way, you forget what it feels like to be held.
Held in your confusion.
Held in your grief.
Held in your truth — not your performance.
You become so good at wearing the mask that the mask becomes you.
You show up. You create. You pour. You give. You uplift.
But inside, you’re bleeding.
And no one knows it but you.
You start to suffocate under the weight of other people’s expectations.
Their version of you.
Their misreading of your strength.
Their assumptions about your resilience.
Their projections onto your silence.
They love your survival story — but not your scars.
They quote your courage — but ignore your cries.
They repost your wisdom — but never ask how you’re really doing.
So, you disappear in plain sight.
You scroll past messages.
You avoid phone calls.
You cancel plans.
You stop answering, “How are you?” with anything real.
You go numb.
And you wonder if you’re losing yourself or finally meeting her.
You want to scream.
You want to shake the world and say:
“See me. Feel me. Hear me. Hold me.”
But instead…
You just smile.
@BlakkMomba
📚 Sources & Further Reading
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Psychology Today: The Hidden Danger of Empathy Culture
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The Guardian: Digital Burnout and the Pressure to Perform Your Personality
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Da Tunnel Radio:
It Is What It Is… Until It’s You
