April 3, 2025

How You Can Transform Any Conversation Through the Power of Truly Listening

How You Can Transform Any Conversation Through the Power of Truly Listening

In this special 100th episode, Olivia explores how mindful listening can completely change your connections with others and yourself. Learn practical approaches to offering your complete attention in a world of constant distraction.

Unlock an ad-free...

In this special 100th episode, Olivia explores how mindful listening can completely change your connections with others and yourself. Learn practical approaches to offering your complete attention in a world of constant distraction.

Unlock an ad-free podcast experience with Caloroga Shark Media! Get all our shows on any player you love, hassle free! For Apple users, just click the banner that says Uninterrupted Listening on your Apple podcasts app. For Spotify or other players, visit caloroga.com/plus. No plug-ins needed! You also get 20+ other shows on the network ad-free!

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.200 --> 00:00:11.839
Ah Calarugashock Media. Hi everyone, I'm Olivia and welcome to

2
00:00:11.880 --> 00:00:15.519
a very special milestone, the one hundredth episode of Five

3
00:00:15.560 --> 00:00:18.640
Minutes of Gratitude. I can't think of a better topic

4
00:00:18.679 --> 00:00:22.960
for this celebration than something that's transformed my own life profoundly,

5
00:00:23.920 --> 00:00:28.600
the practice of mindful listening. Today, I want to share

6
00:00:28.640 --> 00:00:32.119
how this simple yet powerful approach can completely change our

7
00:00:32.119 --> 00:00:36.840
connections with others and ourselves. First, I want to express

8
00:00:36.880 --> 00:00:39.240
my deep gratitude to each of you who've been part

9
00:00:39.240 --> 00:00:42.439
of this journey, whether you've been here since episode one

10
00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:45.240
or this is your first time tuning in. Thank you

11
00:00:45.399 --> 00:00:48.920
for being part of this community of gratitude. Your presence

12
00:00:48.960 --> 00:00:52.159
and attention mean the world to me. A few months ago,

13
00:00:52.240 --> 00:00:55.280
I had a conversation that changed everything for me. I

14
00:00:55.359 --> 00:00:57.200
was meeting with a friend who was going through a

15
00:00:57.200 --> 00:01:01.960
difficult time. As she began share, I caught myself already

16
00:01:01.960 --> 00:01:05.879
forming responses in my head, thinking about similar experiences I

17
00:01:05.879 --> 00:01:10.239
could share, and even checking my phone while she spoke. Suddenly,

18
00:01:10.239 --> 00:01:14.239
I realized I wasn't really listening at all, So I

19
00:01:14.239 --> 00:01:17.239
put my phone away, took a breath, and decided to

20
00:01:17.359 --> 00:01:23.280
just listen completely and fully. The shift was remarkable. Not

21
00:01:23.319 --> 00:01:25.640
only did my friend open up in ways she never

22
00:01:25.719 --> 00:01:29.159
had before, but I actually heard her, perhaps for the

23
00:01:29.159 --> 00:01:32.920
first time. That conversation has stayed with me as a

24
00:01:32.959 --> 00:01:37.519
powerful reminder of what's possible when we truly listen. Most

25
00:01:37.560 --> 00:01:40.840
of us think we're good listeners, but true listening is rare.

26
00:01:41.599 --> 00:01:45.480
We listen while doing other things, while thinking about our responses,

27
00:01:45.959 --> 00:01:49.760
or while relating everything back to our own experiences. This

28
00:01:49.879 --> 00:01:53.519
partial attention has become so normal we barely notice it.

29
00:01:54.040 --> 00:01:57.120
But the difference between this kind of half listening and true,

30
00:01:57.159 --> 00:02:00.319
mindful listening is like the difference between look at a

31
00:02:00.359 --> 00:02:04.599
photograph of a garden and actually standing in one, breathing

32
00:02:04.640 --> 00:02:09.000
in the sense feeling the air, hearing the birds. One

33
00:02:09.120 --> 00:02:12.599
simple practice that's helped me develop better listening is what

34
00:02:12.680 --> 00:02:16.840
a meditation teacher once suggested. Listen as if the person

35
00:02:16.919 --> 00:02:19.520
speaking is about to share the most important thing you'll

36
00:02:19.560 --> 00:02:23.800
ever hear. This approach completely changes the quality of attention

37
00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:27.319
I bring to conversations. It doesn't mean every exchange is

38
00:02:27.360 --> 00:02:30.840
intense or serious. It just means I'm fully present for

39
00:02:30.919 --> 00:02:35.599
whatever emerges. Our bodies give away our listening quality when

40
00:02:35.599 --> 00:02:39.120
I catch myself leaning back, crossing my arms, or turning

41
00:02:39.120 --> 00:02:42.879
away slightly. It's usually a sign I've stopped fully listening.

42
00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:48.439
Simple adjustments like leaning in slightly, maintaining comfortable eye contact,

43
00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:51.840
and keeping an open posture can transform not just how

44
00:02:51.879 --> 00:02:54.919
others experience being heard by us, but how much we

45
00:02:55.080 --> 00:02:59.599
actually take in from the conversation. Something I've noticed is

46
00:02:59.639 --> 00:03:02.680
how rarely we give others the gift of our undivided attention.

47
00:03:03.560 --> 00:03:06.080
Think about it, When was the last time you felt

48
00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:10.680
completely heard, without interruption, without someone waiting to jump in

49
00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:14.479
with their thoughts. It's so uncommon that when we offer

50
00:03:14.560 --> 00:03:18.240
this kind of listening, it often creates a profound sense

51
00:03:18.280 --> 00:03:31.240
of connection and trust. For our one hundredth episode, I

52
00:03:31.319 --> 00:03:35.439
want to share something personal. The practice of mindful listening

53
00:03:35.479 --> 00:03:39.520
has not only changed my relationships with others, it's transformed

54
00:03:39.560 --> 00:03:43.599
my relationship with myself. When I apply the same quality

55
00:03:43.639 --> 00:03:47.479
of open, non judgmental attention to my own thoughts and feelings,

56
00:03:48.039 --> 00:03:51.520
I discover a kind of self compassion that wasn't available

57
00:03:51.560 --> 00:03:55.560
when I was half listening to myself. One of the

58
00:03:55.560 --> 00:03:59.639
most powerful listening practices is simply noticing when you've stopped

59
00:03:59.680 --> 00:04:04.360
listening our minds naturally wander. That's not a failure. The

60
00:04:04.439 --> 00:04:07.520
practice is gently bringing our attention back when we notice

61
00:04:07.560 --> 00:04:11.639
we've drifted away. This simple moment of awareness and return

62
00:04:12.039 --> 00:04:16.279
is at the heart of mindful listening. I've discovered that

63
00:04:16.360 --> 00:04:20.800
different conversations ask for different kinds of listening. Sometimes people

64
00:04:20.839 --> 00:04:23.319
need us to listen for the feelings beneath their words.

65
00:04:23.800 --> 00:04:27.759
Other times they're looking for reflections or solutions. My friend

66
00:04:27.839 --> 00:04:31.000
David taught me to sometimes simply ask, how would you

67
00:04:31.120 --> 00:04:34.600
like me to listen right now? This question alone has

68
00:04:34.639 --> 00:04:40.519
prevented countless misunderstandings. Technology has made true listening even more challenging.

69
00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:44.959
I've started creating technology free listening zones in my home

70
00:04:45.040 --> 00:04:48.319
and life, places and times where devices are put away

71
00:04:48.319 --> 00:04:53.040
completely so conversations can have our full attention. Even one

72
00:04:53.079 --> 00:04:56.560
meal a day without screens can become a powerful space

73
00:04:56.639 --> 00:05:01.879
for real connection. Listening doesn't only have in conversation. I've

74
00:05:01.879 --> 00:05:05.439
been practicing listening to the world around me, really hearing

75
00:05:05.480 --> 00:05:09.920
bird songs rather than just registering birds, noticing the particular

76
00:05:10.000 --> 00:05:13.360
quality of the wind today, catching snippets of music from

77
00:05:13.399 --> 00:05:17.560
passing cars. This kind of open, curious listening to our

78
00:05:17.639 --> 00:05:21.560
environment creates a sense of connection and presence that carries

79
00:05:21.600 --> 00:05:26.360
over into our human interactions. One of the most profound

80
00:05:26.439 --> 00:05:30.240
gifts of mindful listening is how it allows space for silence.

81
00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:33.399
In our culture, we often treat silence as something to

82
00:05:33.399 --> 00:05:36.680
be filled immediately, but when we get comfortable with quiet

83
00:05:36.680 --> 00:05:41.439
moments in conversation, something deeper often emerges. Some of the

84
00:05:41.439 --> 00:05:45.160
most meaningful exchanges of my life have included long pauses

85
00:05:45.240 --> 00:05:49.600
where both people were simply being present together. As we

86
00:05:49.680 --> 00:05:53.800
reach this one hundredth episode milestone, I'm reminded that gratitude

87
00:05:53.800 --> 00:05:58.360
and listening are deeply connected. When we truly listen to others,

88
00:05:58.480 --> 00:06:03.279
to ourselves, to the world around us, gratitude often arises naturally.

89
00:06:03.920 --> 00:06:06.759
We notice the richness that was always there, but that

90
00:06:06.839 --> 00:06:11.079
we might have missed when operating on autopilot. Today's affirmation

91
00:06:11.199 --> 00:06:14.680
for our special one hundredth episode is I give the

92
00:06:14.720 --> 00:06:19.879
gift of my complete attention. Take a breath and feel

93
00:06:19.879 --> 00:06:22.879
what that means. Your attention is one of the most

94
00:06:22.879 --> 00:06:27.279
precious gifts you can offer to others and to yourself.

95
00:06:28.439 --> 00:06:32.519
Thank you for listening truly listening to these reflections today,

96
00:06:33.720 --> 00:06:36.920
as we mark one hundred episodes together, I'm filled with

97
00:06:37.000 --> 00:06:41.560
gratitude for this journey we're sharing until next time, May

98
00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:44.879
you discover the profound connection that emerges when you listen

99
00:06:44.959 --> 00:06:48.680
with your whole heart. This is Olivia signing off from

100
00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:51.319
the one hundredth episode of Five Minutes of Gratitude.