Sept. 25, 2025

Please don't bring your alligator into our store

Show Notes
Transcript

A mistaken discovery of what was thought to be an ancient Roman bath turned out to be 1970s patio slabs, the Australian marsupial 'erta' increasing its range and moving from endangered to least concern status, David breaking his own Guinness World Record for the most table tennis balls bounced with his mouth in 30 seconds, a Pennsylvania man facing a ban on his emotional support alligator at Walmart, and the tradition of 'fantasy coffins' in Ghana that celebrate life through creative coffin designs.

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John also hosts Daily Comedy News

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Calaroga Shark Media. Hey there, I'm Johnny Man with five

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good news stories and workmen have found some ancient Roman

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baths under a local village pond. Yeah, a team was

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restoring the pond and they found some stone lined and

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unusually symmetrical structures under the ground. They think it could

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be a Roman bath dating back to the first hold

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on this just in it's actually just jumped patio slabs

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from the nineteen seventies. They thought they had found a

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Roman bath. Newport Council said, we hate to disappoint the

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legions who were excited, but sadly the slabs are about

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nineteen hundred years too late for the Romans. We can

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confirm that the slabs were actually from the nineteen seventies,

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so therefore our work on site has not been paused.

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Good news. If you were an Amperta, some of you

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might be like, what's an aperta? And Emperta obviously is

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an Australian marsupial that had been facing extinction on a

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co wide scale. It was listed as endangered in nineteen

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ninety nine. There was a horrible drought in two thousand

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and one. People are like, uugh, not good for the imperda.

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The Imperdas are smart. They increased their known range by

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forty eight thousand square kilometers. That's an area larger than Denmark.

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They've done so well their status has gone from close

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to extension to least concern. All Right, that guy David

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that likes to set gidness world record titles, he apparently

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has nothing to do. He spent some time on a

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cruise to spit a table tennis ball at a wall

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and break one of his own records. That's right, it

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is the record for most table tennis balls bounced against

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a wall with the mouth in thirty seconds. He's broken

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the record for the third time. He originally set the

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record at forty three. Then in twenty twenty four he

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set a new record with forty seven, this time fifty one.

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He explains to the casual eye, it might look goofy.

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It might, but trust me, this record is deceptively difficult.

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The spit has to be perfectly aimed. Too much pressure

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in the ball rockets back higher than expected. Too little

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and it drops low and it slows you down. Every

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bounce is a split second calculation, pressure, angle and timing.

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In Pennsylvania, a man was left shocked when his emotional

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support alligator was banned. Wesley showed up with the Walmart

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with his pet alligator. However, Walmart was like nia no.

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Wesley said, I never thought I'd actually own an alligator.

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It's been kind of incredible. We've gone to restaurants, We've

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been to Denny's where she's a star. She gets VIP

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treatment at Denny's. The alligator is registered as an emotional

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support animal and was a gift from his neighbor Walmart.

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To the local NBC affiliate. The safety of our customers

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and associates is our highest priority. We welcome service animals

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in our stores, but it's unacceptable to expose members of

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the public to potential danger. Accordingly, alligators are not permitted

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on our premises. Wesley said, I'll just go with the flow,

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and I saw this story. I thought it was fun,

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despite the death at the middle of the story. In Ghana,

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they do something called fantasy coffins. The coffins are crafted

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not just to bury somebody, but to embody the essence

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of their life. For example, a farmer's coffin might take

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the shape of the tools he used on his crops.

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A fisherman might be in the shape of the fish

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he sold. Each coffin takes about two weeks to make.

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They started around seven hundred dollars. In Ghana, funerals are

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seen as vibrant affairs. People spare no expense on ceremonies

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that feature music, dancing, and vivid displays of cultural heritage.

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Eric is a carpenter who makes these and says, people

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forget for a moment what's inside. They admire the coffin,

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and the atmosphere shifts. Laughter, blents with tears, and the

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sorrow is softened by creativity. I like that a lot.

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And those are your five good news stories for today.

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