Aug. 2, 2026

A Man Fell Into a Toilet Ditch. He Wants His Sunglasses Back.

Show Notes
Transcript

The script presents five upbeat news items: Spoodles, a parakeet aged 32 years and 86 days, is recognized as the world’s oldest living parakeet, having been with her owner Amanda since 1997 and still saying “Pretty bird.” In Las Vegas, Domino’s employee Richard from Virginia wins World’s Fastest Pizza Maker by assembling three large pizzas to company standards in 31.22 seconds, earning $5,000, a trophy, and a belt. In Queensland, Australia, rescuer Stuart removes a carpet python from a bedroom and captures a giant huntsman spider with his hat, releasing both safely. In California, a camper falls into a vault toilet holding tank while reaching for dropped sunglasses and is rescued and decontaminated. In Montana, the Big Banana Car is pulled over because cargo boxes partially blocked its “SPLIT” license plate and is released without a ticket.

00:00 Oldest Parakeet
00:52 Fastest Pizza Maker
01:41 Snake And Spider Rescue
02:24 Vault Toilet Mishap
03:11 Big Banana Car Stop

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WEBVTT

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Kalaroga Shark Media congrat relations to Spootles, the parakeet. Spootles

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is aged thirty two years in eighty six days and counting.

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That set the record for oldest living parakeet in the world.

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Parakeets typically live only fifteen to twenty years in captivity.

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That was not my experience growing up at all. I

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would have been off by a factor of I don't

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know eight anyways. Spootles has been with her human friend

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Amanda since nineteen ninety seven, when Amanda's mother gave her

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the bird as a gift. At the time, Spoodles was

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already three years old. Amanda says Spootles isn't quite as

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chatty as previously, but still greets each morning with the

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familiar phrase pretty bird. Amanda joked, I always say keeps

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not dying, so I keep feeding him harsh there. Well,

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good luck, Spootles. A Dominoes manager from Virginia has earned

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the title of World's Fastest Pizza Maker after assembling three

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large pizzas in just over thirty one seconds. Congratulations to Richard,

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who won the championship at the Domino's Worlds of Fastest

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Pizza Making competition in Las Vegas. What you have to do.

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You had to prepare three large pizzas, one pepperoni, one mushroom,

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one cheese while meeting strict Domino standards for dough sauce,

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cheese and toppings. Richard completed all three and thirty one

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point two to two seconds. He earned a five thousand

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dollars prize, a trophy and a championship belt. Where you

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wear the belt, I don't know, Richard said, winning this

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title means so much to me. The competition isn't just

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about speed. It's about delivering quality under pressure, just like

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we do in stores every day from Australia where they

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have all kinds of things that'll kill you. A routine

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call to remove a snake from a bedroom, you know,

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a routine call happens every day. Hey, we got a

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snake in the bedroom. I'll be right over. Stuart was

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called to a hope in Queensland after a resident discovered

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a large carpet python inside the bedroom. But when Stewart

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entered the room, he spotted something else above the bed.

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It was a giant Huntsman spider. Video of the rescue

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show Stewart carefully removing the carpet python. With a snake hook.

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I guess what else would use the snake cook for? Right,

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before using his hat to safely capture the spider. The

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spider was released outside the home. The python was relocated

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to a nearby wooded area. Neither the homeowners nor the

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animals were harmed. In California, a camping trip took an

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unfortunate turn when one man's attempt to recover a pair

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of drop sunglasses ended with an emergency rescue. John, this

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doesn't sound like good news, no, but you're gonna tell

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your friends about it. Authorities were called to camp Edison

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after the man became trapped inside the holding tank beneath

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a campground vault toilet. You ever been in one of those,

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You know what it looks like at the bottom of

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the pit. Now imagine you lost your sunglasses and you

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reached in to retrieve them, you lose your balance and

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you fall into that tank. Oh my goodness. Deputies and

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firefighters pulled the man out after about fifty ten minutes.

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The man went through a decontamination process because of his

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exposure to waste and gleaning chemicals. The best part of

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this story is no one bothered to mention whether or

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not he actually got the sunglasses back. In Montana, drivers

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on the interest date got a surprise when the Big

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Banana Car was pulled over by the Montana Highway Patrol.

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That's right, the Big Banana Car. It's a bright yellow vehicle.

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You would imagine it's shaped like a giant banana. Yeah,

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that all tracks. It was stopped near Billings, but here's why.

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The boxes strapped to the cargo rack were partially blocking

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the vehicle's license plate, which reads split. The troopers pointed

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it out, had a friendly conversation with the driver of

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the Big Banana Car and sent him on his way

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without issuing a ticket. The Big Banana Car started its

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life as a nineteen ninety three Ford F one to

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fifty pickup truck. The owner sold most of his belongings

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and now just drives the Big Banana Car all around.

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He says he gets pulled over frequently simply because people

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want a closer look at the car. But this time

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the police out a legit reason to pull over the

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Big Banana Car. And those are your five good news

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stories for today. Have a great day.